For the past four weeks, my team has been staying in the gorgeous country of El Salvador, which translates into “The Savior.” From the second I stepped foot here, I noticed that there was somewhat of a peaceful vibe, much different from the scandalous streets of Honduras. I had a feeling it would be a great month, and boy was I right!! My journey has been FULL of unexpected surprises, lessons learned, realizations, blessings, laughter, and new friendships… along with some painful emotions and tears at times- but all in all…. I wouldn’t trade this month for anything. This is what the World Race is all about and I couldn’t be happier.
We started the month off by writing down our fears and throwing them into the ocean. This was symbolizing the act of surrendering our fears to God, and trusting that He will deliver us from these obstacles holding us back from the wonderful life He has written for us. I wrote down my fears of rejection, failure, judgment, worries about my family, future, etc. and watched them all wash away into the ocean. It was the perfect way to start this month off.
It seems like such an easy concept- to surrender these things to my God and Creator- who knows the deepest chambers of my heart, my inner most secrets, the number of hairs on my head, my thoughts and desires, who strategically and wonderfully made me with a divine purpose- but in all reality it can be extremely difficult at times.
For me- it was “easier” to hold onto these fears and get stuck in a life of complacency. It was “easier” to only seek God when I had problems in my life. It was “easier” to take matters into my own hands, instead of remaining patient and trusting God's plan for me. However, through my short time here in El Salvador- I’ve been learning all about what it looks like to fully surrender myself to God and trust His plan for me. And it’s been AWESOME!!
Throwing my fears into the ocean
My Team Love Story was assigned to live with a pastor of a small church (Primer Templo Cristiano) in the charming little town of San Vicente. Despite our daily 5 AM wake up call to the annoying sounds of roosters, car alarms, and tons of local vendors yelling TA-MALLLLL-EESSSS…. we’ve been super spoiled this month. I’ve slept in a bed almost every night, washed my clothes in an actual washing machine, showered inside, and even sat at a table for meals!! Life is gooood.
We’ve been ministering in schools, hospitals, and poor communities. I knew I would love playing with the kids and teaching English in the schools- but I was super nervous about the work we would be doing in the poor communities. I didn’t like the idea of going door-to-door… and quite frankly, the word “Evangelism” freaked me out. I didn’t want to be like those Jehovah Witnesses that used to show up at my mom’s house back in the day. However, I went into the first day with an open mind and I was totally caught offguard by yet another surprise! It was nothing like I had imagined, in a good way. We would basically get to a village in the morning and walk around to the different huts to invite anyone and everyone to our program that we would put on later in the day. Due to the language barrier- a big part of our program was a skit that we would perform. But we would also sing and dance with the kids, take turns sharing our testimonies, and pray over the people.
God’s presence was so strong in those communities. I saw people accept Jesus into their lives for the first time and truly learned what it looked like to worship the Lord, holding nothing back. These people, who barely have anything, were so authentic and genuine in their worship… and it was absolutely beautiful. They had so much faith and were so thankful for what God was doing in their lives.
This convicted me a little bit and it hurt. Why was I not bowing down every single day and thanking God for all that He has done in my life? I've made mistakes in my past..and there's probably times I should have been found dead in a gutter somewhere, but by the grace of God I am still here. By His cross and resurrection- I have been set FREE! After pondering over this and intentionally spending more time in prayer this month- I can honestly say that my worship has started becoming more refined and genuine. I’m finally getting to a place where I can become intimate with the Lord, and it feels SO GOOD!
I'm finally getting to a place where I can trust The Lord. Trust is key in learning how to surrender myself. For in order to truly surrender myself, I have to be able to fully trust that He will show me the next steps to take. I have to be able to fully trust that He will give me my heart's desires. I'm also learning that sometimes trusting Him- means sitting still and being patient. I'm learning that in order to fully surrender myself…. I have to be okay with accepting His perfect timing, instead of naturally wanting everything to happen instantly throughout my life. I also have to be okay with hearing "No" sometimes- all while trusting and truly believing that He knows what will truly make me happy.
Tomorrow morning we pack up our bags and head to the next country on our list- Guatemala. I can’t wait to see what is in store…. But at the same time, I’ll never forget my time here in El Salvador and all the things that I learned in just four short weeks.
I’ll never forget how He opened my eyes to truly see Him as my Savior, and my Redeemer…. and I couldn’t be more thankful 🙂
