Father, Son and Holy Spirit, three persons in one; a difficult concept to wrap your head around. someone once explained to me that it can be simplified to a matter of roles. take my father for example: he is a father to 4 daughters and one son, he is a husband to dianne, and he is a brother to my aunt gini. i like that picture and i get it.
i have longed sought after Jesus the Son, it is almost automatic in my life. God as Father, way different story. a couple of years ago i participated in an amazing but grueling nine-month healing course called living waters. on the first day we were asked to draw a picture of our view of God and ourselves. in mine, God incorporated half the page from top to bottom, and coming out of Him was a huge hammer-like instrument. i drew myself in the corner as a tiny stick-figure running away, underneath the head of this device. initially i was quite shocked that this was what came out but after discussing it with my small group, i realized that i had lived most of my life in sheer terror of God, expecting punishment around most every corner. God brought to me the memory that as a child, i had been told that ‘God would strike me dead’ because i had lied about something. oh, the words that can shape a life. through some tough work, i was able to forgive the person and mourn the loss of relationship with my Father God. i have since embarked upon a journey of getting to know my heavenly Father and it has been so sweet. POWER was not for me. enter world race training camp – the Spirit was all over the place and all over each of us to varying degrees, leaders and participants alike. His power was magnificent, His touch life-changing. i have to admit though that remarkably i have since struggled to understand these experiences and have grappled still that ‘it is not for me’ in my everyday world.
i have read oswald chamber’s ‘my utmost for His highest’ daily devotional off and on for years, its truths never cease to impact and challenge me. on 18 october (
www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php
) of last year, i read the devotional and remember well how the verse for the day really burdened me. a couple of weeks later, i was accepted for the race. coincidence? no way. even then the Spirit was working in me. yet when i look back at the devotional today, i am struck by how much i missed and how the Spirit needed me to go deeper before i could wholly grasp it – i do not have to ‘get’ the Holy Spirit’s work for it to be real, i do not have to viscerally experience the Holy Spirit’s power to know that it is ever present, i do not have to fear that it is not for me because i am a child of God and He
has poured out His spirit upon me. i simply need to remain open and devoted to the person and nature of Christ Jesus, and feed His sheep as He has asked of me. the love of the holy trinity has been bringing me to my knees lately. how i look forward to knowing each of them more intimately.
