Unfortunately most Christians don’t ever live up to their purpose because they don’t rise above the group they reside in. I was told that by a wise friend, those aren’t my words.
We get too comfortable and therefore God and the Holy Spirit become stagnant forces in our lives. All of us in this life make our present surroundings, the opportunities we seem to be given, and the people who fill the spaces beside us the norm and we fail to seek out the MORE. The World Race is not exclusive from life, let me tell you that.
I’ve been trying to figure out why I haven’t felt myself on the World Race and it’s because I have chosen to evolve into those around me. Never was I made to be a mirrored image of anyone but Jesus, so you can see where issues exist here.
I became a World Racer.
World Racers wear Chacos. So I packed my Chacos.
World Racers use Enos day and night. Hung high. Hung low. Hung together. Hung separate. So you better believe Danski and I went to Bass Pro Shops and bought me an Eno.
World Racers take pictures with orphans in hopes that World Race Instagram will regram their photo. So yes, I made sure in those moments with cute little dirty orphans I had some monumental “candid” photos taken of me.
World Racers read countless Christian books filled with lessons about God and read their bible like it’s their job. So I was making sure people always knew what popular Christian author I was reading, the lessons I was “being wrecked by,” and wanted everyone to see me with my bible in hand.
World Racers are always “on” and are constantly telling people about Jesus whether it be in an airport, on the beach, a packed public bus, a worship night, an orphanage, etc. So I tried to be that go-getter evangelizer no matter my situation.
On the outside I was a World Racer but my insides were screaming out. My heart missed something and I didn’t quite get it.
I forgot that Chacos don’t make you a cooler Jesus freak.
I sent my Eno home last month because I never used it.
The orphans didn’t get my best because I was caught up in yearning for people to see me living out a false version of the gospel-Really I was forgetting the true reason for hugging and loving those little forgotten souls.
My unnatural love for reading is fueled by my crave for fiction stories just as much as those books that really convict me about God’s heart-I was reading for image.
As for evangelizing, I started to believe I wasn’t worthy to do it because I couldn’t make people accept Jesus on the spot like my other squad mates did- I beat myself up when really I am a phenomenal evangelizer with my life and my words written down.
My heart missed being Paige.
And there are so many other times I chose something that was not me as comparison was the driving cause.
I’ve become a World Racer and forgotten that I am Paige. I like being Paige. I am Paige. Paige is who God made.
For you World Racers out there. Don’t be a World Racer, be the BEST version of you loving for kingdom causes. Be that person-that man or woman of God-who is DOING the World Race. Be that human that the God commissioned through a vessel called the World Race to go out into this world and reek havoc FOR HIM. Never did you sign a contract detailing the transformation you must go through in order to make it. So don’t change. It’ll only make things harder, my friend.
Expectations ruin us and they make us become versions of ourselves that actually are fake. Stray away from a hurting heart month 3 because you’re too busy missing YOURSELF.
When I was leaving to go to these 11 countries in 11 months the best advice I got was to “just be you.” Something so simple I didn’t take seriously. It was going to be a piece of cake to be my individual self, but it wasn’t. I lost her a little bit. Not fully, but enough to where I miss that girl. Who I actually am.
The conclusion I’ve come to is that we only rise as high as the bar is set. We only go as deep as others are willing to go. As people we learn to be “uniquely me” because of the people we surround ourselves with.
I don’t get to choose who my 6-7 team is for the rest of the WR, but I DO get to choose whether I’ll conform or confess that certain things just aren’t me.
No ones asking me to fake it, so why was I? Because that’s the lie I was living in. That if I wasn’t just like every other person on my squad I wouldn’t finish. Wouldn’t love people to the best of my ability. Wouldn’t experience intense growth. Wouldn’t be liked. Wouldn’t do great things for the Lord.
And it’s funny God has to tell friends back home to recommission me to JUST BE ME for me to actually hear this truth.
This is why you shouldn’t become a World Racer, because being you is more Jesus-centric.
Be you. God’s not asking you to be anyone else.
Paige is back, too.
