{this is about loving yourself and choosing God over the many fickle relationships you could. Best to read if single/struggling with wanting a relationship}
It seems quite a shame to be searching for love when in reality I am looking to find it from myself. Always seeking out validation. Trying to take what is meant to be treasured and rush it for my own benefit. Jesus come, flood my heart and infiltrate every single fiber of me with YOUR love so that I should be fully able to demonstrate selfless love onto another. Loneliness creeps in like a late and unwanted fog, it seeps into my veins and tells me lies.
You need someone beside you to feel whole.
Don’t bask in the quiet.
Be your true self when someone else can see it, don’t waste your good graces and beautiful soul on merely a life lived with yourself.
Rebuke them all Father and tell me where I stand. Remind me that I sit in the palm of my Abba’s hand. That there I am destined and there you watch me grow into my fullest self and the self that is most tainted with YOU and the gifts you’ve give. Let me discover what my favorite parts about myself are. Encourage me to date myself for a while and to see inside my own head and thoughts. Lord YOU see every single part of who I am and you love me MORE because I am openly honest with your Spirit.
This quest doesn’t have to be one without you, Lord. You’ve saved me once and you will continually save me each and every day from myself and from the ways of the world. God, let my definition of love be rooted in You, like a strong fierce wind that blows, let Your voice be carried in the sounds of it whistle, Your presence be felt so strong that it blows me over, and in Your direction for my life shall I fall flat on my face.
Before Christ I planted “love seeds.” Tiny pebbles of hope in the hearts and lives of boys that found a spark in me that even I didn’t see until I fell in love with my Savior. There was a prideful price tag attached to the act of playing cupid myself and letting who I was/am wreck boys into a perpetual state of adoration. That’s sin. That’s Satan. That is not the woman I want to be when I marry my husband and give my life and every other inner thought and part of me to him. Jesus says it is ALWAYS the right time to relent back to Him and to not even spend time perfectly packaging my sin in order to give it. Surrender it Paige and surround yourself more fully in His word.
