My second month on missions field I remember turning to a friend on a dusty, dirty, crowded public bus in Nepal and feeling ashamed when I uttered, “I don’t think I’m meant for overseas mission work.”
Little did she know this harmless conversation would turn into such a pivotal moment of acceptance and realization for me.
I was expecting her draw to drop.
I was expecting her to turn her head seeing if anyone else had heard the nonsense that I had spoke. For goodness sake I was on the World Race.
I was expecting her to challenge me in that. But she didn’t.
Instead she let out a sigh of relief and said, “Paige, me too.”
You see in the Christian culture there is often times the assumption that if you are ACTUALLY being the hands and feet of Jesus that God will ask you to sacrifice. He will ask you to move away from the people you love the most. He will ask you to fundraise some crazy awful amount of money to go live in a foreign land. He will go ask you to live a life of less. He will ask you to do all these things in your love for Him. Most of this revolves around the idea that Christians who choose a life of overseas missionaries are the heroes of the religious world These individuals are the Paul’s of the generation who are willing to pack their bags and go to new places to fit the needs of the people and to spread the gospel in every crevice of the world.
I did all of those things. Every single one of them, but the Lord had to take me away from all of my comforts to remind me again that they don’t define me. That the clothes I wear or the car I drive or the place I live or the relationships I have with my family or the healthy food I get to eat or the job I’ll one day find will NEVER fulfill me. They don’t even come close. He had to entice me that a life of overseas missions DID look more glamorous and exciting than the (at the time) stagnant life I loved Him in. There was no doubt that I was being Jesus-like, I too was just roped up in assuming that there was more I could be doing and that required me to GO.
And I’m not going to say those things about God asking sacrifice out of us aren’t valid, because they are. But I AM going to disprove something. God KNOWS you. He knows your heart. He knows the depth and extent that the “yes” in your spirit is willing to go. He wants you to exalt Him on high but He has DIFFERENT plans for all of us. But at the same time, God never said you were only a missionary or a good Christian or a passionate follower of Jesus ONLY if you find yourself in a country that’s not your place of origin. YOU CAN BE A MISSIONARY IN AMERICA. I am a version of Paul anywhere I go. Heck, America needs missionaries. They need people who are willing to not only live out the radical ways of the gospel but people who are willing to reciprocate how simple and easy the message of salvation is. All it takes to spend eternity with the Father is acceptance of WHAT Christ did for us, people!
My experience of overseas missions has been simple. The World Race hasn’t been about unfathomable miracles and unexplainable healings. It’s been spreading the tangible love of Jesus everywhere I go, even if it means all I did in a given day was play soccer with some kids, smile at a few strangers in my current country, give my teammate some hard-hitting feedback, pray the entire time during my run, and message my mom that I love her. To be honest, in my fickle, human opinion I would even risk it to say that the Lord has used me MORE in America. But who am I to say, right?
The point of this blog is to just let everyone know that “the more” does not exist. That God calls us to where He knows our hearts will thrive and there’s nothing to be ashamed about it. For me, that’s most likely Milwaukee but somewhere in America. He called me to minister to the people in my own neighborhoods that speak my own language and can laugh at me in things that make sense for our cultural norms. God made me for a red, white and blue colored life but that doesn’t mean He cannot call me away to distant lands for seasons at time.
Don’t pull a Paige Lindner and go searching for that thing that looks shinier, new, and extravagant halfway across the world with a handful of strangers. But then again be willing to make mistakes with God on your side. I would rather be failing with Christ close by then not having any awareness that He’s fighting for me. Actually go searching for that shiner, new, extravagant thing and let me know what God shows your through it. Guaranteed that shiny thing will challenge you in old habits you never thought you’d walk out of. That new thing will give you spiritual disciplines to take home with you. That extravagant thing will remind you every single day away from those you love WHAT you actually have been blessed with for every apparent reason. And those strangers? Well, they’ll become some of your closest friends, soul-bearing sisters, and they’ll teach you what real love looks and feels like. Those 50 strangers will be real life Jesus’s to you each day for 11 months and a muttered “thank you” at the end of it all won’t even begin to describe what you’re feeling.
So thanks God for letting me believe the World Race would satisfy me. Only you satisfy me. Thanks for this wild adventure, Jesus, but I’m coming home to dwell in the U S of A.
Note: In 3 months I’ll be moving home to Wisconsin Dells for a few months and then Milwaukee in search of a job in the business world.
The Lord, my parents, and myself are pleased with this decision, in that order.
If you’d like to support me in my transitioning back home feel free to click here.
