God is speaking and speaking clearly. I have never set aside so much time for Jesus. Being here I have lots of time with Him. People, its amazing. I feel like I have wasted so much time.
I have been taking a spiritual formation class through a college back in the states. I have had to write blogs on different topics like intimacy with God, fasting, worship, confession, prayer, and scripture. I have always understood that I enjoyed studying biblical topics but at home I did it in my own time. I did it when it was convenient for me, when I was done hanging out with people or sitting on my phone.
Here we have a mandatory Jesus time in the morning at 6:30 that usually lasts about an hour and through out the day I get to sit with Jesus whenever there is free time. I have so much more time. Today for instance, I had the morning to rest in his glory. I had time to read the word for a couple hours, talk about Jesus and then listen to worship music and lay in his wonder.
When I think of myself at home I feel like I missed it. I missed the words my father was trying to speak by filling the space. I wasn’t sitting with Him. I would occasionally read a couple verses. The bible is full of the Lords words directly to us and it is wonderful. It quickly turns our eyes upon Jesus.
This course has made me think deeply about theses topics and dive into them. I have realized new things about very old topics.
Fasting is an intentional time to reprioritize your life back to Jesus. To teach your heart and mind that Jesus is the ultimate provider and sustainer. Jesus has called me to abandon things and it is very hard. It hurts and makes me really question things. However, Jesus has used the things he has taken away to make me deeply rely on Him. He has walked me into new places that I have never been to. He has called me to dependence not on the former thing but on Him.
Moving forward in fasting, I want to fast when the Lord calls. I want to fast more often to turn my eyes upon Jesus. I think when it comes to big decisions I will turn to fasting to understand the fathers heart more profoundly and clearly.
Worship. Awe and wonder of the Lord in all of his glory. This whole month my team has been learning a lot about worship. We have been learning such different things about the same topic. Amazing things like true worship is everything you do to glorify the Lord, if we love like we have been forgiven worship will become our normal and quietly worshipful and nosily grateful. It has been so cool to see God speak in so many different ways about the same topic. God has wrecked me with worship this month in multiple ways: being just in pure wonder of Him, quietly praising him even with our bodily posture and then the complete opposite of screaming His praise and Glory.
I want to take everything I have learned about worship and bring it with me to each of the new environments I will enter on the race. I only have three weeks left here in Kampot and am about to move to a entirely new culture. I want to bring the awe and wonder of The King there. I want to bring worshiping with the way I live there. I want to bring shouts of joy there. I also want to learn even more about worshiping my Father in new ways in every place I go.
Confession. Coming to the father with a pure heart has really been on my mind a lot. I never really thought of that idea until I studied repentance. Coming here learning so much about my pride and judgment really hit me hard and weighed me down. When I studied confession though it gave me so much peace and hope. Jesus washed me clean. He forgave me. When I come to Him all I have to do is come with a pure heart of repentance because he will always comes with forgiveness.
I want to bring more accountability in to my life with this. The Lord offers so much forgiveness continually. I want to not just sit in that forgiveness but move out of it into showing mercy and grace to the people around me. I want to move out of it and live out what the Lord has called me to. I want to fix my eyes upon Jesus and spend so much time with Him I start to act like Him.
Prayer. I have learned a lot about intersession lately. Which is fighting for a God sized thing in prayer. Intersession includes: thanking the Lord for all he is doing, coming to the Lord with a pure heart, surrendering own agendas and emotions, rebuking the devil and then listening to the Holy Spirits promptings about the situation.
Intersession is a big part of ministry because, “We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12). We need to walk in to any situation with prayer and fight for the people in ministry with prayer. I want to continually learn more about prayer because speaking to the King and asking for miracles is a big deal.
Intimacy with God. Knowing the father and his heart. I have grown a lot in this, through out this course. Studying so many things that continually bring me back to Him made this happen. Spending so much time in his presence through the word, worship and prayer has drawn me so close to Him. He has taught me so much about His love. His unending, never leaving, steadfast love. It amazes me. When we understand his love we get to understand Him.
I want to continue to walk in this intimacy with the father because there is so much freedom in it. Tangibly I am going to continue to spend time with him daily. To know some one you have to spend time with them. I want to even further my intimacy by inheriting new gifts from him and learning his heart more and more.
Through this course I have learned so much about the father and his heart. I have learned about the things He asks of us and pressed in to them. I encourage you all to study these things that God calls us to practice. It draws us closer to the father. So today turn your eyes upon Jesus.
