One of my friends loves talking about the holiness of God because in both Leviticus 19 and 1 Peter 1 when it says “you shall be holy, because I am holy.” it’s literally a cry from God for us to have a relationship with Him because if we aren’t holy (made pure/clean through Jesus) the holiness of God is dangerous to us and can destroy us. It’s kind of like the sun – it gives life, light, its powerful, but if you get too close to it it’ll literally destroy you. We literally can’t approach Him and have a relationship with Him unless we are made holy.
Gosh I’m so thankful for the way Jesus pursued me. I completely walked away from God when I was 14 and didn’t know what I thought about Him anymore. But I look back and really see areas where Jesus protected my heart and pursued me so hard. He cried out for a relationship with me. And in my freshman year of college Jesus completely met me where I was at and changed my world. But in high school I was completely defined by my family and friends. And then my senior year of high school and beginning of freshman year of college I was completely defined by a boy I dated. I was who they thought I was. I defined myself by who they saw me as. The things I felt because of not only my friends but also my family is how I defined myself. So if I were feeling alone or unloved or ugly or worthless that’s who I was but also if I felt loved or joy or filled I was defined by those things. It wasn’t consistent.
Thinking back it makes total sense that I was completely heartbroken and felt so alone and incredibly sad when I truly met Jesus. I was so content in who I was before I became a believer because most of the time I did feel super loved and cared for by my people. They’re great and gave me a lot of life and worth. But freshman year of college when my heart felt like it was in pieces and I had left everything I knew in Nashville for the first time it was like Jesus came running in screaming and showing me that He never let go of me and He loves me completely and He wanted me to experience the joy I can have in life through Him. First semester to second semester of college was a total change. I lived in so much joy my second semester because of Jesus.
After my sophomore year of college I spent a summer in Santa Cruz with CRU where I met some of my favorite people on the planet. But while I was there Jesus really showed me how much I find my identity in my family and friends. He showed me I love my people too much and they are at the center of my universe not Him. I got to walk through that with my people there and see God change my heart. But last month in the Philippines there was a day where I was feeling super alone because I hadn’t talked to anyone back home in a while and I was starting to let myself live in that like it was the truth.
And I heard God say “you still find your identity in your family and friends and I want you to fully live in the truths of who I am not in who your family and friends think you are. They are good but I’m so much better.”
God clearly cries out for a relationship with us. But He wants our relationship with Him to be greater than anything we’ve ever experienced…and it can be.
I’m learning that my relationship with Jesus is a father/daughter relationship, a friendship, a relationship where I continually walk hand-in-hand and never let go. Jesus has shown me how incredible and differently my friends love. One day He just had me sit there and think about it for a little and I loved that, but then He said to me “now if they all love you so well and so differently how much more do I love you? I can love you in any way possible that you will ever need and my love is lavished on you ALL THE TIME.”
Jesus is 100% consistent. He tells us we are loved, cared for, worth it, strong, forgiven. He says we are HIS and we can choose to live in that 100% of the time. My relationship with Jesus should be greater than any other relationship I have. I should love Him more than my people and I should know He loves me more than they ever can.
