Last week I was walking down the street with my friends Brynna and Miguel. We had just finished up some logistics work for our squad. As we were walking a man loudly told Miguel to let him buy Brynna or me off of him. And of course Miguel was like no absolutely not but the guy continued to try and tell him what he would pay for us. I kind of just laughed it off (I laugh in bad situations) but I couldn’t believe that happened. Then we continued to walk to the bus station and another man tried to grab my arm and men were yelling at us. When I got on the bus I sat down checked to make sure none of my stuff got stolen and realized how overwhelmed I was. This was probably the time I have felt the most unsafe on the race. Even with Miguel there I was extremely uncomfortable and just wanted to get out of there because it made me feel really horrible. But there had been several girls on our squad that had experienced sexual harassment this month. My first instinct is to be very upset and angry because they should realize that this is not how you treat a woman and this kind of behavior would never gain a woman’s respect or get them what they want. But I’m not sure that they know that. In Swaziland it’s normal for men to see a woman they want and then yell from the street that he wants to marry her and they will. It’s also normal for men to have multiple wives and rarely stick around for their children. Almost 50% of the population is under 18 which is due to the fact that men take multiple wives and just move from wife to wife. Then the sons don’t know any better than to do exactly what their fathers did. This is their culture. It’s what the men are taught and no one has taught them any better. They truly don’t know that they should marry one wife and stay with her until death. They don’t understand the covenant they are entering into. They don’t truly understand how to treat a woman.
This world is incredibly sad. The way some men in all different cultures think they can treat women is sad. People just want to know that they are loved and respected and this isn’t how it happens. The men aren’t respecting women or themselves. But forcing them to change isn’t going to do anything. Telling people what they NEED to do will never work. However, even when things like sexual harassment happen and you feel so unloved and violated there is forgiveness and grace. And today I choose to live in forgiveness and to remember that Jesus came and took all of my sins and experienced death so that I don’t have to. I can experience full forgiveness from God. So I choose to forgive and see people through the lense of how God sees them. I choose to look past their sin. I choose to see that they are a child of God. That they are loved. That they are known. That Jesus came to restore their hearts and make them more like Him. And I choose to pray for them. Today specifically I choose to pray for the men in Swaziland. I pray that they know that Jesus took on their sin so they could live a life in freedom. Free from any expectation their society or this world puts on them. They can live a life differently than everyone else. I pray they see women how God sees us. I pray they learn to look at us with respect and love us as sisters in Christ. I pray that they see their worth and our worth. I pray they know just how well Jesus desires for women to be treated and that they truly are meant to be treated like Christ treats His people. With honor, worth, respect, love, gentleness…. I could go on and on. But God desires for His people to be treated the way He treats them and we lack as humans but I pray for humanity to step up and strive for change. Because God loves His people so dang much that He sent His son to come down to earth (humble himself and leave heaven) to care for and have relationship with His people who He knew were going to fail over and over. So let’s have grace and forgiveness (even when it seems impossible) and see people how Christ does because we all fail but also let’s pray for a revival in humans. For people to see themselves as Christ sees them so they can see others and treat others the way Christ does. I believe this is truly the only way people will change.
Also, I am also so thankful for the men on my squad. The way they treat women and love them and see them as sisters in Christ is an incredibly beautiful thing. I’m thankful that when I get back from a day of ministry they are here and we can rest in knowing we are safe with them. A lot of the times women can put all men in a box because of the way men have treated them in the past but it’s beautiful how safe, kind, open, and trustworthy these men have proved themselves to be (I hate that they had to prove themselves but it’s kind of the reality given how most women have experienced men in society). But these men truly love the Lord and see His daughters the way He has called them to and I’m so thankful for that.
I pray for men who don’t know you, Jesus, to come to know you and to change their perception based on how much you love your people.
