Isaiah 64:8
“But now, O Lord, You are our Father,
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all of us are the work of Your hand.”
The Lord is continuously working on me. I am a piece of work in progress. This means sometimes the potter has to bend and press the clay to shape and mold it. At some point he will put the clay through the fire, the kiln, to make it stronger. These processes may hurt the clay but in the end it becomes the potter’s beautiful masterpiece.
This post is about something I’ve been learning over this whole race, really my whole life but I’m just now speaking it out. The realization came more to life because of this trip.
You see…? I can’t speak for every World Racer but when I joined the WRGY I had expectations for the Lord and myself. I thought the Lord was going to work in me and change me in radical ways. I thought I would be a totally different person when I came back to the States. I thought all my problems and my struggles would be fixed and I would come home more on fire for God than ever before. (Like some kind of super-christian.) I would always look to the Lord first, I would never stress or worry but trust God always, I would never be temped by my flesh but always stand firm and be full with the Fruits of the Spirit, etc. I thought I would come back from the race flawless.
However just recently I’ve had these feelings/emotions come back up within me that I haven’t felt in a while. I thought these struggles of mine were gone. I thought I had dealt with them already. Left them behind in the dust. I was wrong.
So this giant expectation I had was a lie. This weight I put on myself was and forever will be impossible to obtain until the day I die or Jesus Christs returns. I am human. I am a sinner. And so I am not perfect. I am not flawless. But the amazing part is, what I’m learning is… I don’t have to be. Jesus was perfect for me and so when he died on that cross and buried my sins in the grave I became righteous in his sight. The cross has made me flawless!
But here on earth he’s still working on me. My life is an adventure and a journey in which I can fail, learn and grow. Each day is a wondrous thing because even if I’m almost 20, got no money, don’t know what the next step is in life, don’t know whether I’ll fail or succeed, or whether I’ll ever get married, have kids, or stay single, whether I’ll live in the states with my family or move somewhere else, whether or not I’ll be good at my job, whether I’ll be in good health all my life or not, etc…. I know that God’s got this girl! He has me. He has my future. And even through all my problems and struggles he gives me SO much grace.
The race has been SO hard. I won’t lie to you all. It is especially hard now as the end is so close yet so far. I miss home, I miss my bed, hot showers, food, being 100% healthy, my family, etc. It’s been so hard I don’t honestly think I would ever recommend anyone doing it…. But at the same time, for myself I wouldn’t change a thing. I have not become the super-Christian self I imagined I would be. If nothing else I almost feel more broken than I did when I started. But I have come so close to my creator and learned so much more about myself, him and his character. I think the biggest thing I’ve learned is how insufficient I am but how amazingly sufficient He is. 😀 Isn’t that beautiful?
“He must become greater and greater and I must become less and less.” John 3:30
So I am a work in progress and I am ok with that. I may not always be so I will have to remind myself of it daily. The potter has me in his hands. Every day I become closer and closer to my Provider…. my Comforter…my Defender…my Healer… my Father… my Friend…. my Groom…. my Savior.
That’s all, everyone. Thanks for reading.
Many Blessings,
Alex Paige
