There is a park I go to think.
I will quite literally climb a tree near the pond, and sit there until my I can collect and sort through my thoughts. Sometimes the squirrels get a little peeved. Today, a little guy nearly fell out of the tree when he caught a glimpse of me sitting on a (probably his) branch. He barked at me until I jumped down and found a new spot. I settled for a concrete picnic table…
After some time, I decided to write this post. I didn’t want to. But I decided it’s totally worth it.
I felt pretty heavy this morning.
I sinned… again. That sin I really despise.
In fact, I sin (*generally speaking*, if there is such a thing) more than I’m willing to admit. But this particular sin, I saw it coming. And I allowed it to have a foothold.
All of the flashing neon signs… I ignored them. I went so far as to justify my emotions and reasoning, even as they drifted into grey, murky waters.
When I went through with all of this, I gave Satan permission to speak into my life. And boy, did he pick up his megaphone and shout some nasty things about my identity.
I was forced to pick up my sword and swing wildly at lies coming from every direction, digging in their craws and latching on. It was exhausting.
And so I decided to go for a walk in the park and ask God what He wanted to speak into my wretched heart.
As I started walking, I did all the talking:
“I’m so sorry… I know that was wrong… I know this guilt leads to conviction which leads to repentance… I know there is nothing that can separate me from your love… I’M SO SORRY… I thought I was over this lie…”
And then I felt God telling me to look up… LOOK UP… that’s when I saw this parked car:
Daughter, you are redeemed.
Redeemed means to gain or regain possession for something in exchange for payment. Another definition says it is to compensate for the faults or bad aspects of something. Both definitions apply.
The Lord showed me, in one simple word, that he has redeemed me. Past tense. Present. And future. Over and over again. I have been purchased at the price of my precious Savior’s blood and that work of the cross is finished. There is no undoing.
As we kept walking, I came to a fresh understanding of grace. The word of God says, “My grace is sufficient for you. My power is perfected in your weakness.”
(2 Corinthians 12:9)
Even now, the Lord is using my mistake for good, such as the sharing of this post. Does that mean I am free to keep sinning?
Paul has a good answer for that:
What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin.
(Romans 6:1-7)
Since Training Camp, I have realized there are some aspects of my faith journey that I haven’t fully trusted God with. I have timidly tiptoed on eggshells, so to speak, asking God, “But am I really healed from this? Are these chains really broken? Are you really pleased with me? Am I really free?”
God speaks the word redeemed into these insecurities.
I will fall short. I will make another mistake. I will continue to fight the arduous battle of taking thoughts captive.
And in all of this, I am redeemed. I am brought back into the fold of God. I’m no longer a slave.
I don’t have to live in fear of making another poor decision.
I am not condemned.
I am redeemed.
With Christ, I have the Keys to the Kingdom (Matthew 16:19). I can get up right now and leave my shackles behind. His grace is sufficient for me. I can live as a free person, because the Lord has dealt with my sins. I have earnestly confessed my sins to him and to my fellow disciples. I don’t need to steep in them any longer. Lament always ends in hope. It is finished at the cross. Get up from your ashes and walk in the light, oh soul.
I know these are things I will have to preach to myself, until Kingdom (fully) Come. And maybe you need to stop and declare that bolded section over yourself a few times. I challenge you, friend. Do it now!
We are invited to journey with Christ from glory to ever-increasing glory (2 Corinthians 3:18). When we mess up, we are not disqualified. We turn back to Jesus and live as new creation.
Who the son sets free, (s)he is free indeed.
(John 8:36)
Go in peace.
