“Your love’s not fractured
It’s not a troubled mind
It isn’t anxious
It’s not the restless kind
Your love’s not passive
It’s never disengaged
It’s always present
It hangs on every word we say
Love keeps its promises
It keep its word
It honors what’s sacred
‘Cause its vows are good
Your love’s not broken
It’s not insecure
Your love’s not selfish
Your love is pure.”
It’s not a troubled mind
It isn’t anxious
It’s not the restless kind
Your love’s not passive
It’s never disengaged
It’s always present
It hangs on every word we say
Love keeps its promises
It keep its word
It honors what’s sacred
‘Cause its vows are good
Your love’s not broken
It’s not insecure
Your love’s not selfish
Your love is pure.”
This song, Pieces by Amanda Cook, has been on repeat this month. It’s become the song of my heart. While I’m waking, while I’m running, while I’m cooking, while I’m teaching, while I’m weeping on the floor… the melody carries a flame into the darkest crevices. The song speaks to this Truth: God doesn’t give his heart in pieces and he doesn’t hide himself to tease us.
On January 29/30, 2016, I lost my seventeen year old brother, William, to gun violence. I’m no stranger to suffering, but this is the most painful experience I’ve ever endured. I am still enduring it.
I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m not ok.
That has been the hardest thing for me to admit to myself. I don’t like feeling this way.
But God is still present in my pain. He is still GOOD. And so…
I am loved. I am hopeful. I am steadfast.
On this side of Heaven, we will only have a glimpse of his goodness and redemption. Just a taste. But that taste is enough to satisfy a crumbling, grumbling, wretched heart for all our days. God keeps his promises and his love endures forever.
As I continue on this journey of transition, preparation, and support raising for The World Race, I am confident that the Lord will continue to use all of this heartache for his glory. I will better know the pain of the orphan and the widow. The Lord will use my grief to minister his HOPE to the nations. I am sure of this. I am grateful for the opportunity.
Keep praying for my family.
Pray that God continues to stir hearts to give to this ministry. I am nearly 50% funded.
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” Romans 8:18
“Trust in him at all times. O people, pour out your hearts before him. God is a refuge for us.” Psalm 62
