Sometimes I feel like I live my life on repeat.
A never ending cycle of hellos and goodbyes.
Constantly seeking to trust that God will be faithful, and to seek out His faithfulness.
Just over a week ago, I had to say goodbye to my first team.
To quell the mounting anxiety surrounding the pending team changes, I chose to avoid thinking of all the possibilities beyond my control or ability to accurately predict. I chose not to dwell on the what-ifs and to trust that God’s hand was at work in what was next and that I didn’t need to busy mine.
Yet, that meant when I received the card with the names of my new team members, I was finally hit with the reality that I would have to say goodbye.
I recognized that I needed to grieve what I would be losing before I could fully enter into a new season with a new team.
And, through the tears I shed over the next 24+ hours, I was reminded of God’s faithfulness through the way that my team loved me in those moments. As I found myself crying in my bed that night, my tears were compounded as Kayla climbed up onto my bunk with me and Gabbie came over and held my hands.
I cried harder because I could tangibly see God’s faithfulness in those moments. I saw His answer to my prayer along a lake in Minnesota two summers back.
In those moments, I recognized all that I had gained—and despite what I would lose, all the more that I had to gain if I truly believed that God is faithful and has even better in store for me. That He gives good gifts to His children (Matt. 7:11). And He can do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
So, I will continue to choose to surrender my will for His.
I will praise Him for His faithfulness.
I will chose to live in abandon.
