Hey everyone! Over the past few days, I have had a few changes in my plans with Gap23 and wanted to share them with you all. Some of you may have already received an email with this, but I wanted to post it here as well. Here’s the story:
First and foremost, thank you so so much for being such a great supporter throughout the last few years of missions for me. Your prayers are a big part of what gets me through and a reason I can help build the Kingdom up in ways God calls us to do. Your financial support always blows me away by how generous people are when it comes to supporting missionaries. Whether it’s one, ten, one-hundred, or a thousand dollars, I am always so grateful and know you are donating to me as your own form of ministry like so many of you have told me.
As most of you know, I always want to be open and transparent with what God is calling me to do. I want to keep you updated with how and where your prayers and donations are going in my life. With that I have a big update for you below.
After much prayer, guidance, and conversations with many people, I have decided to step down from team leading with Gap23 to Nicaragua these next three months. This decision was very very hard to make because my goal is to always stay dedicated to my commitments. Yet above that goal, the biggest value in my life is to be under God’s will and I believe, along with many other mentors in my life, that leading with Gap23 was something He was asking me to step away from.
As I travelled to Georgia on the 1st of January, I was feeling extremely unsettled and more anxious than most times when I leave home. I reached out to many people to pray for me which is something I commonly do when I feel the devil is attacking me with fear. Once in Georgia, I could not shake the feelings even though I was with the people I would be leading with which usually helps. I went to bed hoping sleep would help and I would feel great and excited in the morning but that was not the case.
I woke up feeling prompted to journal my thoughts and feelings, which is pretty rare for me, and ask God to speak into them. I wrote down things such as exhausted, anxious, drained, rushed, unexpectant along with a few others. When asking God to speak into these, all He told me was to talk with Hailey, the mentor of Gap23, and trust and listen to what she had to say.
At lunch time, I got a chance to talk with Hailey and discuss all of this. She helped walk me through guided questions to help me sort through what was true in my head and what were lies and temptations from the devil. She had admitted she was feeling a little off as well and that she never ever wants to push someone into something if it is not in the will of the Father even if they’ve committed to it. Hailey encouraged me to process the rest of the afternoon with the Lord and call people I trust if I needed to and that no matter what decision I made, whether staying with Gap23 or going home, she would fully support me and be praying for my time and an answer herself.
While I sat with my Bible, journal, and pen, I heard God very clearly say: “You’re released.” I prayed about how I felt exhausted and drained out from the last round of leading and not prepared enough to take on another set of Racers. I knew I would be able to push through if needed but also knew that I wouldn’t be giving the Racers the best they should be getting on this journey. So I heard and decided with God that He wanted me to be released from this role and to go home to rest, process, and then reset with the next glorious thing He has planned for me.
When I went to tell Hailey my final decision, her response confirmed all that I had just walked through: she and the rest of the upper leadership were all feeling the same way with the decision I was making and reassured me that being in God’s will is always the best place in life even when it’s hard and people might disagree with you.
With all of that being said, I have been home since midnight of the 3rd and have been taking lots of slow time with the Lord and processing through what happened last week. With each time I sit with the Lord, I am more and more confident this is where He wants me. He wants me here because He is preparing me for what is next in my life: something great which will bring more and more Kingdom on earth as it is in Heaven.
Now you may be asking “Where does my money I donate go?” Very good question! Like I said, I truly value and am very grateful for your support so knowing this answer was one of my top priorities. Right now, my funds with AIM are put on hold and are currently under a fund with my name on it. What that means is when I go on another trip with AIM, the roughly $2,000 dollars under my name will still be there and already be applied to my next fundraising goal. I strongly believe the Lord is calling me into leading another trip with AIM; I am just not sure when and I will keep you updated as the Lord reveals more of that plan to me.
I know all of this could be shocking and confusing, and I want to be very open about all of this. So if you have any questions at all and would like to chat or meet up, please please reach out to me through text, commenting or email me at [email protected]!
I love and care about you all so much and am so thankful for your constant support.
Blessings,
Paige Canova
P.S. I will keep posting updates here for what the future may bring, but for now, I am obeying God: resting and regrouping. :):)
