The past few weeks have been fast paced (along with the last two and a half years of my life) and because I have been so busy I have let other aspects of my life slip. Because of that I have felt drained spiritually, emotionally and physically. Because I have felt that way I began to reason that I have nothing to offer those around me. Those around me that need encouragement, that need prayer, that need to just talk about whatever. Because I felt drained in areas I began to get selfish with my time and resources. I began to think that I had nothing to offer other people.
Without knowing that I have been feeling this way, my friend Tanner just reminded me that the same spirit that rose Christ from the dead lives inside of me (Romans 8:11). The Holy Spirit lives inside of me all the time. Not just when I’m feeling spiritually full and great but even when I am feeling drained and like I have nothing to offer anyone. Christ lives inside of me. How amazing of a thing that is to experience and think about. So I have no excuse to not pour myself out each and every day for those that are hurting. To pour myself out to Christ everyday in the way I live and what I say and how I act. I have no excuse to get selfish and only think about my problems and my worries and the things going on with me. Because it’s not about me. We know that in our heads but sometimes we need reminders for our hearts. Just a reminder that as Christians our only purpose on this earth should be to love God and to love others. God’s love compels us to want to tell others of His love. We can’t keep it to ourselves and when we do it is because we have become selfish in our thinking.
All this thinking came up because I am about to go on a mission trip to for a month and I leave in 11 days. I am going to Peru and am extremely stoked. I am leading the trip and because of this I have started to fill the pressure of what that means. I want to lead the team well and also lead the team in serving and showing Christ’s love to the Peruvians. I am pretty sure they would be able to do this on their own because they are such an amazing group of men and women. With that pressure I have felt like I need to be spiritually ready for whatever happens on the trip. But feeling like I have been the past couple of weeks it was beginning to worry me a bit. I started thinking that I’m not ready to lead a team and not ready for the extra ministry I’ll be doing while in Peru. God has reminded me that it’s not my butt that’s on the line. It’s His because He is sending us to Peru and He gets all the glory. I don’t have to worry about not living up to people’s expectations. All I have to do is whatever the Holy Spirit leads me to do and let Christ do the rest.
Knowing all this I think that our enemy of this world wants me to go to Peru feeling drained and tired and like I have nothing to offer. If I go there feeling this way then I will focus only on my needs and concerns and not on the real reason for going; to love people and share God’s love. To bring those that I encounter into a closer relationship with our Maker. I know the truth though. That even when I don’t feel like giving my all, Christ never changes and He lives inside of me and speaks to me every day. I can choose to walk in that truth. I can choose to walk in His love and tell others of it. Or I can choose to be selfish. It’s my choice every day. It’s your as well.
