When you live life month by month, knowing you are going to pack up and move at the end of a few short weeks, time flies by fast. “The days are long but the weeks are short” is what we like to say. Almost the end of month four, the beginning of seven more months. Thinking about what is to come always feels like a strange combination of, so very long and not long enough. Some days are hard, some days are a little less hard but as I have been learning the last couple of days: it’s always worth it.
Abandoning the only life I’ve ever know for 11 months may sound like the craziest thing to some people. And honestly, I think it’s a little crazy myself. I was definitely excited to leave regardless, it sounded like an awesome adventure and I wanted to see what the Lord would do through it. But as my teammate Michelle pointed out earlier this month, the “honeymoon” phase of the race is over. It’s no longer just a fun adventure filled with awesome things everyday, it never was really just that, but it was easier to pass over the hard things when the thrill of adventure and seeing the world while serving the Lord was what grabbed my attention.
Now every day, I see more than ever that I am left with a choice. I wake up everyday with the option to choose how it’s going to go. I can choose to let my circumstances dictate how I feel and react to things. Or I can choose to live in the mercy and grace I am offered freely everyday. I can choose to walk in the steadfast love of my Father or I can choose to walk in the lies I’ve believe for as long as I can remember.
Being on the race is far from easy. Some days its exhausting. Some days I smell really bad. Some days I don’t “feel” like doing anything. Some days I don’t have running water. Some days I really miss my family and just want to go home. Some days the heat index is 105. Some days all my clothes are dirty so I put on a smelly shirt I’ve already worn and sweated in three times. Some days my teammates are grumpy and hard to love. Some days I am grumpy and hard to love. But every day, every day it is worth it.
Why?
It’s worth it because the other option is to live a life unlived. We were never promised an easy life, we were guaranteed a harder one actually.
It’s worth it because in the midst of all the smelly and gross, in the midst of all the hard and uncomfortable, is life, is love. I get to spend my days, showered or not, loving people. Meeting those around me and getting to know their names, getting to know their stories. Pouring into their lives and discovering all the ways they are pouring into mine as well. I get to live in a community of people that truly care about me and help me grow. And sometimes that means I am sitting on the floor crying because they’ve brought up a flaw in my character. But knowing that they are loving me in the best way possible because they know my desire to look like Jesus and they are pointing me in the right direction.
It’s worth it because I get to see kids every morning excited to be going to VBS for the first time, completely unaware that the seeds being planted in their hearts will grow and grow. It’s worth it because I get opportunities to sit up in front of a group of teenagers on fire for the Lord and encourage them to keep going, to fight the good fight, knowing that it’s hard, but know that it’s worth it. It’s worth it so see a smile light up the face of someone I pass along the street because I simply looked in their eyes and said hello. It’s all worth it because the Lord asked it of me.
He asked me to love. He asked my to simply say YES to Him. He asked me to remain faithful. He asked me to trust Him, knowing He would provide everything I needed.
It’s nothing special what I am doing. It’s nothing special what He has asked of me. What I am trying to say is, He has asked of you the same things. It may look different in your life, but He has asked just the same. He has asked you to love. He has asked you to open your eyes and see His people, His lost sheep. He has asked you to trust Him, to surrender your will to Him. He’s asked you to go, be His hands and feet. That doesn’t mean across oceans or borders, that means right where you are at in your life. Right in this moment, right now.
He leaves you with the choice, same as me. Everyday you get a choice to live or to coast along. To accept His new mercies or to ignore what he is asking of you. To give into the hardness of life, to whine and complain. Or to stand up, to stand in His steadfast love and be active about what you do with your days. To love or to not. To seek Him or not. They choice is truly yours. But just remember this:
It’s always worth it to choose Him.
The days are long but the weeks are short, what are you going to do with them?
