For the past 3 weeks, I have been sick. And I mean really sick. Turns out, I have mono (and yes, I have in fact heard it's the kissing disease- the doctor even decided to make that joke). Let me tell those of you who haven't had the pleasure of being graced with this illness a little bit of what it's like- It's very similar to what I think being hit with a garbage truck would be like while simultaneously having golf balls that were rubbed with sandpaper shoved down your throat and Bam Bam from The Flintstones repeatedly hitting your head with that club he carries around. Sounds just lovely, doesn't it?
It has been discouraging to say the least, being this sick. Not only because it's the middle of the summer or I was rendered absolutely helpless but because it gave me way too much time to think. I hate being left alone with my thoughts, it's a scary place. I'm really good at convincing myself of things, talking myself out of others, imagining things that may not have happened, etc. One day while I was home sick, I watched The Godfather I & II and the rest of the day I thought in a New York accent and I was pretty convinced I was understanding the Italian they were speaking. Needless to say, sometimes I just don't like to be left to my own devices. And while I'm stewing in my own thoughts, I began to think about all the possible reasons The WR is not what God wants me to do.
Doubts. Yikes.
There were/are a lot of good reasons I could think of to not go. I didn't write it down, but I'm sure the number of reasons NOT to go was more than the number TO go. Numbers don't matter. I could justify about 1,000 reasons. But nothing can outnumber the one reason I have TO go: On Earth as it is in Heaven. That's my one and only reason for going on this trip and I don't need anymore than that. It's bigger than me. It's about doing what Jesus would do, making a new heaven on earth, ending pain and suffering.
I was reminded of something in "The Irresistable Revolution" (incidentally one of my favorite books) when Shane Claiborne talks about our world being in desperate need of people who genuinely care, people who are ready to get up, move, and struggle with others along the way. That's what this is about. So I don't need to talk myself out of anything anymore. I've got one thing to focus on. Everything else will be taken care of. Thank God. Literally.
