Disclaimer: This blog entry is mainly for comedic purposes, so if you’re looking for fundamental insights on the human condition, I would suggest Aristotle… or Oprah.
I have been traveling for about 6 months now on the World Race, displaced out of house and home, roaming the world like a gypsy. There is nothing quite like the deep impact that seeing new cultures, new people, and new places can do to change a person’s worldview. After this long of going from country to country you might expect me to have some thoughtful contemplations on the manner in which travel can cultivate the soul. Well, Henry Miller once said that "One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things". This is profound and true and possibly something that I should have realized. But I would say that I identify more with something that Orson Welles learned in his life of travel: "There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror."
Here is what I can tell you I’ve learned/observed/concluded after 6 months of continuous travel:
1. The world is a strange place, full of strange people who do strange things.
(Now, I don’t want you to think that I’m saying that Americans are the exception and everyone else is strange. No, no, no. Americans may be the strangest of them all. I mean, come on, we have a television show about people who use coupons…Extreme Couponing, look it up) I’m convinced no behavior is normal behavior. Just when you think you’re doing something within the norm of human conduct, you’re not. Even the norms aren’t norms. Sociologists have no idea what they’re talking about.
2. Lines are only an illusion that Americans have fabricated so heavily and in such great detail in their minds that they believe they exist. I’m sorry to shatter your beliefs, but lines don’t exist. We think they should and we believe they do, but they don’t. I came to realize this early on in my first month in El Salvador. I was in line to check out at a grocery store about to approach the register and about 17 people decided that it was their turn. You might be thinking, “that’s absurd, she was clearly next in line.” Yes, you would think that. However, you think this because you believe that lines exist. When lines cease to exist, there is no longer a moral dilemma. They are simply an illusion, nothing more.
3. In regards to #1- Staring is a frequent occurrence in 93% of the world (true statistic…not really, although it’s possible). You would think, “Staring is rude, that’s just something you don’t do. You don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.” Well, there you go again, trying to abide by our so-called societal norms. People can and will stare at you as long as they have the gift of sight and the attention span. I’m actually not quite sure what is most interesting; my skin color, my apparently unfamiliar bone structure (I’ll explain this later), my muted color clothing, who knows. Not only does the staring happen but also sometimes it’s accompanied by pointing. I could have used my common sense to figure out that they were talking about me from the staring and light whispering alone, but when they add the pointing, I know it’s going down. That’s right Asians and Central Americans, you make sure I know how weird I am and how funny looking my clothes are.
4. Kids will say anything. You probably know this already; but in case you thought children of other countries were different, perhaps more delicate with their words, you were wrong. If anything, when a child says something to you in broken English, it has more of a bite to it. I made a comment about my bone structure earlier and I’ll elaborate now: At least 23 children in the past six months have pointed out to me that my nose is big (To clarify, I know my nose isn’t big. I went through that life crisis in elementary school and made it through the other side a confident individual. My mom thinks I’m perfect anyway so take that boy from second grade who called me Pinocchio). Sometimes, it’s said in a matter of fact way, like “You have a big nose.” I usually respond to that with an existential reply such as, “What is big, really?” Other times, there is just some pointing, laughing, and gesturing. I operate under the theory that these children have simply never been exposed to the majestic nature of an Italian nose. Well in that case, you’re welcome, children of the world.
So there you have it, four lessons I’ve picked up as a seasoned world traveler. I can only imagine what other wisdom awaits me in my next 5 months on the World Race.
Look out Africa, Nepal, and India; I’ll be watching you.
