Since it is almost Valentine's Day, I figured now was a good time to talk about my own sweetheart. We have been dating for exactly 17 months, 18 days and approximately 22 hours. (Best 17 months, 18 days, 22 hours of my life.) But I have actually liked him a long time before we were even dating. It is funny, I liked him and he didn't even know it. I am dating the one and only Ryan Carney.
I meet him after he and his family started going to my church. We both got into youth group and I believe that is when it all started. I remember him coming up to me as a freshman, (I was a junior,) and he said hi to me. (That was probably the best day of my life.) I was crazy about this guy. He was part of an after school work-out group that met at our church, lead by our youth pastor. It wasn't long before, you know who, joined the club. Don't get me wrong, I like working-out, but I can not deny it, I joined mostly because I wanted to see Ryan. Oh how I loved work-outs, I'd be in seventh hour Spanish class watching the clock, waiting for the bell to ring. Then it would be off to see Ryan. I never said anything to him, he never really said anything to me, but just being there working out with him was awesome.
Then in the summer of 2010, there was a youth group mission trip to Brazil, and guess who was signed up to go? Yep, I was on a plane headed out of the country with Ryan a few seats over. I enjoyed serving with him and being able to see him everyday. I saw God move in his life while on this trip and we actually talked to each other too! It was while on this trip he saw me.
We got home and there were a few times we got to hang out together with our youth group and then there was U2. Oh man, that was such a great day. It was kind of a set up by my youth Pastor and his wife. They knew we both liked each other and they really wanted to see us together. We were both pretty shy so they helped things along. They offered Ryan 2 tickets to a U2 concert they weren't able to make it to, and suggested he give one to me. I'll never forget that night. Best night ever! There was a thunderstorm right in the middle of the concert. We were both drenched by the end of the night, it was awesome.
After that night, I knew I really really wanted to get to know this guy. I thought he was thee coolest guy ever, and he played the guitar too!! So, I prayed. I asked God if He'd let me get to know Ryan. No joke, a week later Ryan asked me to go on a date with him. He took me to dinner and a movie, and then as he was dropping me off at my front door he asked if I would date him. I was so excited!! I gave him the biggest hug, those were the very words I thought I would never hear. I never dreamed I'd actually get to date Ryan, never in a million years. God answered my prayer. I got to date the guy of my dreams.
I could try to explain how much Ryan means to me, but we'd be here all day. And I am sure you'd get bored with me going on and on about how great he is, so I wont go there. But I will say this, I love him. I actually love him a lot. And I know that he loves me. So naturally when this whole "World Race" thing came onto my radar, my plans included Ryan in the seat right next to me on this journey.
Funny about our plans, they are not God's plans. Dating couples are not allowed to go on the trip together. I was very disappointed and slightly angry when I became aware of this rule. I knew I needed to go on this trip, but that would mean leaving Ryan, the love of my life, for almost a year. I took my frustration to God, "How can you take him away from me?" I demanded. God was gentle with me, simply saying, "I am the one who gave him to you." God was right. (Isn't He always??) God was asking for one of the hardest things for me to give up, Ryan.
I am going. I am leaving Ryan. I will not be able to see him for an entire year. But I have not doubt in my mind that this is God's plan. Ryan and I are still together, and we will be together though this. God didn't say forever, just 11 months. This is going to be very hard, for me and Ryan both. But God wouldn't ask of us more then we could handle. I was just thinking about this today, at least it is only a year. If you think about your life, 1 year is not a long time. (I am sure I will say differently in 6 months from now when I am in the thick of it.)
I get sad sometimes when I think about being away from him. But I know this will be good. Good for both of us. God needs a little time to grow in us, and in order to do that we need to be apart. So I have let it go. I trust God. He has what is best for me in mind, and if that means no Ryan for a year, I trust him. I also trust Ryan, you should see the way he loves me. It was pretty amazing. We will be alright. We will be more than alright, because we are in God's will.
I wonder if in 20 years from now we will look back at this and thank God for it. I don't see it yet, but there is a reason for this. Leaving someone you love is never easy, so I ask for your prayers for Ryan and I as we go on this journey apart from each other.
No one in the world can make me smile like Ryan can.
