Today we found ourselves at Camp Joy. We got to spend some time with the ladies. We enjoyed sharing stories about ourselves and learning more about each other through our differences in culture.
Next we were able to sit in on a class that they were required to go to. The class was on identity, who we are. After listening to the women speak, something inside me clicked. I thought about it for a second and realized that I don't really know who I am. For so long I have allowed the world to write on me of who I was. I also found my identity in my family, my job, even my relationship with Ryan, and my home church. When I take all these things away I find myself lost, not quite sure of who I am.
I realize God has brought me on this journey to speak to me on my true identity. My identity in Him. This is the most important identity. God is good. He is so very good. I am so thankful. He needed me alone for this process to occur. That is why He called me away from home, Ryan, work and my family. He wants to do a good work in me.
I feel so foolish for not understanding and becoming upset when he was asking me to give up things back home. He knew. He is so patient and loving.
Lord,
Thank you for calling me away to be with you.
Thank you for your patients when I didn't understand.
I love you with all my heart.
Now,
Who do you say that I am?
I was so excited to jump right on that and ask God that question, and I know He was so excited to finally be able to give His response. What would delight a Father more then speaking words and truth over His beloved daughter?
So we got back to the Hostel, it was time for lunch. We were all kind of waiting around and I was just dinging around. In front of the hostel, there are 5 giant flower pots. I haven't really noticed them before, there kind of just there. But today I noticed the very first pot had the most beautiful flower in it. It was the only one, and it was purple. Its beauty captivated me. It was just so beautiful.
Sorry the picture is sideways, I couldn't figure out how to rotate it.
In the back of my mind I thanked God for its beauty. There was also this tiny whisper hinting that the flower was for me. Not that it was just for my eyes to see, but that in some way God was speaking to me.
You are beautiful.
A part of me was still in disbelief. God couldn't possible be talking about me. I didn't fully believe beauty was something I would call myself. The day continued as normal. How quick I am to brush off God's wooing.
A couple of us girls headed down to the beach. (which is a quick 10 minute walk, praise Jesus. I can literally wake up in the morning, walk to the back of the property and BAM. There is the ocean. Pretty cool. No joke.) Anyway, we get down there. I sit in the sand, taking it all in, the beautiful sea breeze, the warmth of the bright sun, the wonderful mountains off in the distance, the waves that keep crashing. Wow, it was breath taking.
I am so captivated by it all. I began praying telling God how beautiful this place is and how much I enjoyed it. Then He began speaking over me. He brought me to the beautifully amazing place to tell me, "Your beauty in my eyes is so much more than all this. I can not even be compared. This is nothing compared to what I created when I created you. Your beauty blows this away. Whenever you see something that your eyes see as beautiful, it is my reminder to you that you are beautiful."
Dear Lord,
Thank you for speaking truth over me today. Thank you for the tenderness in your love for me. Thank you for letting me see how beautiful I am in your eyes. I pray I keep this locked in my heart. Always. I love you.
Hey guys, God thinks I am beautiful. No actually, God made me beautiful. I have seen some very beautiful things and places in my life, Cape Town is gorgeous. The God of the universe says that there is far more beauty in me than this place. Wow.
I am beautiful.
