This past Tuesday I had the opportunity to share my story with a women's group. It was a group of older women that meet once a month in our neighboring town of Chippewa Falls. The Chair of the group, I call her Teacher Judy because I help her out on Sunday mornings with teaching 2 and 3 year olds, allowed me a little time to share about my upcoming trip.
Before I go any further, there is something you must know about me. Public speaking is my worst enemy. I distinctly remember that horrible class in 7th grade, the teacher, the classroom, everything down to the very seat I sat in. Oh it was terrible, I walked to that class everyday, filled with dread. Impending doom. It was speech class. Thinking about it now gives me the shivers. I am glad that class only lasted a quarter, because it would have been the death of me if it lasted any longer.
I don't know what it is, but I have never like talking in front of people. I don't think I have ever really met another person who gets joy out of the occasion either. When speech day came, I would try to think of every situation possible that would lead to not having to present my speech. I tried to time it just right. I'd sheepishly raise my hand a few speeches before mine asking if I could use the restroom. After taking a considerably long potty break, I'd head back hoping in my absence the teacher would forget all about my speech and move on. Therefore, skipping me altogether. Ha! Of course, that never happened. And I'm pretty sure several students before me tried this very tactic. She was on to me, I knew it. Because I'd always arrive back just as she called me to take my place, center stage. Drats!
I'd prepare several nights before, but it seems to do no good. Once up there, all eyes on me, no amount of practice would have saved me. Doom! My words come out in a jumble. I think to myself, can people really understand me right now? Because I don't recall what I just said. It's the nerves. My mouth gets all dry, I can feel my heart begin to race. It it the worst thing in the entire world.
Over the years, I can say that my speeches have improved. Even though I didn't like those classes, I knew they did me good. Public speaking doesn't come easier, but I feel I have gotten better.
I was praying the morning before my speech to this women group. Basically I was praying for the words that came out of my moth to be heard and understood, even in my nervousness. It was then that I heard God speak to me. I took a step back and I looked at what God was doing.
A few years ago you'd never catch me dead doing a speech. Never in a million years would I consider speaking. But here I am, volunteering myself for the very thing I fear the most. It was me that went to Pastor Dwayne and asked to share with our home church about my trip. It was me that asked Teacher Judy for the chance to share my story before the women's group. Now, that is amazing.
God reveled to me just what He can do. He can take a shy, quiet, self-conscious, little girl and transform her into a confident, bold, young women speaking with authority and passion. Wow. God's work has already begun in me. I haven't even left yet, but His great power is at work in me. My mission doesn't start in September, but my transformation has already begun. He is creating something so wonderful. It is very exciting to see the change in myself.
Even though speeches still make me uncomfortable there was a part of me that was excited to speak. This is something really important to me. I feel that it needs to be heard, and that far outweighs any fear I have. He is at work. I am thankful that He has chosen me.
If God can use me, He can use you too. I am praying for the power of God to work in your life as he has worked in mine.
Be transformed.
