I have this friend, she lives approximately 178.4 miles away from me, but she is my best friend in the whole world. I met this girl in speech class in middle school. I knew right away that I wanted to be her friend. She wasn't really like any of the other people in that class, or in the world, for that matter, I can't really explain it, but I just knew I wanted to be her friend. I also liked her laugh.
The following quarter we ended up on Hot Materials class together. It was the start of something epic, so epic sometimes I can't even handle it. I invited her to my youth group and we started hanging out together at this one coffee shop before church every Wednesday night. We also had our share of adventures along the way. I know I don't get to see her very much anymore, but she is still my very best friend in the whole world. We have been through a lot of life together and she has helped me along the way, many times. This Girl is none other then April Degner.
We keep in touch mostly through texts and occasional phone calls that often lead to a weeks worth of phone tag. I know right now I am were I need to be and she is where she needs to be, but I miss her. And I hope someday we will have the chance to live close again.
We do this thing where we send text to each other of song lyrics. It is just what we do. Music is kinda a big deal to us. This one time she texted me the title to a song, or maybe she sent it via Facebook message, I don't remember, anyway it was a link to Girl on Fire, by Alicia Keys. I listened to it and loved it. Then she texted me again, and said, "Girl, you on fire." When she first heard the song she had thought of me. She thought of me as the Girl on Fire.
Listen to this song before you read on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwaCaaqfIK4
Now that you heard the song, you will know what I am talking about when I say that it was more then a compliment April gave me. She saw something in me that I would have never saw in myself. She thought I was the Girl on Fire. At first I didn't take the complement. I brushed it off and didn't clam it. I loved the song, but I never saw myself as the Girl in the song.
Well, I guess God though I was the Girl on Fire too. Yesterday I was in the bathroom doing some dishes….I don't have a kitchen sink so I wash my dishes in the bathroom. Ha ha…. anyway, I was feeling pretty down. Sometimes I feel like I am just not enough, like I will never be good enough. This thinking was leading to negative thought about myself. God didn't like the way I was thinking and He decided to do something about it. I was in the middle of washing a mug and Girl on Fire came on the radio. Then He whispered to me, "That's you."
Well as you can imagine, tears began to fall. God doesn't see the bad I have done, my failures or my faults, which is what I see. No, he looks at me, His daughter and He sees me. Who I am. And to Him, who I am is enough. He can do nothing but love me. I think so poorly of myself sometimes. Who I see in the mirror and who God sees in the mirror are two totally different people, according to me. But I want to see who He sees, so I looked myself in the mirror and said out loud, "Ok, maybe I am the Girl on Fire." I clamed it. I think God wanted to hear me say it out loud because He wanted me to believe it. It is truth. So now when I hear this song you know that I blare it in my speakers and sing at the top of my lungs! Because I am the Girl on Fire.
Thanks April for being my friend. I love you Girl, and I miss you, a lot. And thank you for helping me to see who I am. You are the best friend in the world, and I hope you know it.
