I am blessed with an amazing family, and they mean a great deal to me. My parents are the best parents in the entire world. They gave a lot for me, and I wouldn't be the person I am today without them. There are no words I can say to express my gratitude for them. I just love them.
I also have an older sister, Samantha. Growing up I always looked up to her. She was and always will be my cool older sister. I always wanted to be just like her. I feel extremely blessed to have an older sister. I even remember those times she'd invite me along with her high school friends to do things. What high schooler would take there younger middle school sister to hang out with her and her friends? Just saying, it made me feel so great to hang out with them. Especially during those self conscious middle school years. My sister is the best.
I also have a younger brother, Eric. Most of the time growing up I thought he was the annoying little brother that tattled on me all the time. If I really think about it though, he was always their to go on adventures with me. We'd play cops and robbers in the driveway for hours, he would have tea parties with me, and when we put our brains together we got in to all kinds of shenanigans. Including that one time, Mom was taking a nap and we decided it was a good idea to strap a pair of roller blades on our feet, no helmet, and pull each other up and down the road with a rope behind the golf cart. Oh the fun we had. (Let's just say Mom wasn't to thrilled when she got up from her nap seeing her littlest hanging on for dear life as her middle child drove at max speed, recklessly down the middle of the road. I don't blame her.)
So as you can see, my family means a great deal to me. Growing up we were a very strong family. We sat down to a supper, prepared by my Mother, every night. Often our weekends were filled with fun for us kids. I am extremely blessed. Because of the closeness we share, leaving them is not going to be easy. The longest I have ever been away from home was a two week trip to Alaska. I was so homesick by the last few days. I cried upon returning home, seeing my entire family waiting for me in the airport. I know it is going to be hard, but I think God has been preparing me for leaving. He knows how much my family means to me. He knew what He'd be asking me to give up. My family is a large part of my heart and there will be an emptiness when I leave. But I think God will fill that empty place while I am away. Not just the empty place in my heart, but also all those I leave behind. At least that is what I pray for.
About a week ago I got some very exciting news! I found out that I am going to be an aunt once again. My sister is married and already has two amazing children, and I found out there is another on the way! I couldn't be more thrilled! Being an aunt is the greatest thing. I have a niece, Evelyn and a nephew, Richard. Both amazing kids, and I love them dearly. October is the due date for baby number 3. When I heard this, it stung a little. I leave in September, which means I will miss the birth of my new niece or nephew. Also the realization that I will not even be able to hold the new baby until he/she is nearly 1 hit me. It hurt. Getting this news opened my eyes to see what I really am giving up for this trip. A part of me wondered if it is going to be worth it.
Later after I heard this news, I was at church for worships practice. Ryan plays guitar and I like going to watch him play. I often join in and sing. I don't remember what song we were singing, but I remember closing my eyes and telling God. I wasn't angry at him, I was just hurt. I cried when I told him that I was really going to miss my family. Especially my sister having her baby. God is good. He didn't tell me to suck it up. He didn't tell me that I wasn't going to miss them. But he just listened. He heard me, He knew that this news hit deeper, and He cared. He loves me so much. After the song, I felt a little better.
After practice, I was on my way home when God spoke. He said that what I'd see on my trip would be worth more then what I'd miss here. In fact, He said that it wouldn't even be comparable. What He has in store for me is beyond my ability to comprehend at the moment. Hearing this didn't take the pain away, but it put an end to the questioning.
Will it be worth it?
Yes.
God said so Himself. I trust Him.
"Beyond anything that you can imagine."
