Life is expensive. I’ve lived on my own for 4 years now but working full time and living by myself now I get to experience life in a whole new way. You know those lovely things called rent, utilities, groceries, gas, insurance, and you can’t forget Netflix? Yeah, they cost money. A lot of it. If you sit and think about those things for a long time, you get really overwhelmed. So naturally a few weeks ago, I sat around and thought about all those things for a really long time.
Then there is also the things I need to buy for the Race: my tent, pack, sleeping bag, mat, headlamp, vaccinations, etc, and it would be cool if I could help pay some of that $16,561, right? Oh and all that money that I borrowed from the government to get a college education they now want back.
I started thinking about all the money I would have if I didn’t have to pay for rent, utilities and groceries. What if I could convince mom and dad to let me and Fitz live in the basement? Because that’s what us Millennials do, right? We graduate and then live in our parents’ basements.
So I took my brilliant idea to my parents and surprisingly enough it did not take much convincing to get them to agree. Yasssss! Praise! Look at all the money I’m going to save! And mom is going to cook all my meals and I’m not going to have to vacuum anymore and I’ll have cable! It’s the dream.
We spent the rest of the evening making plans: I planned out how I was going to talk my way out of my lease and mom figured out how dad was going to convert the basement from my brother’s man cave to my bedroom. I go back to my apartment that night and I’m stoked. This is going to be awesome. I’m going to be able to buy all my gear and maybe even some new jeans because that one pair from target just isn’t doing it anymore. I enter my nightly prayer on an emotional high. (I mean, come on, I have a lot to be thankful for here I’m about to get cable.) And as I start to list off all the things I have to be thankful for, I hear that little voice:
(WARNING: After reading Beautiful Outlaw by John Eldridge some years ago I developed the ideal that Jesus has a diverse personality including humor and maybe even sarcasm, so this is entirely how I experience God and is not a direct reflection on how he actually speaks to people.)
JC: Uhh P, whatcha doing?
P: Um well, I’m moving back home. I know you’re omnipresent so I know you saw that conversation.
JC: No, right, of course how could I forget? I’m just wondering why I wasn’t consulted first?
P: I don’t understand, my parents agreed to the plan and that was your way of telling me it was your plan, right? That that’s what I’m supposed to be doing?
JC: It’s a decent plan, it really is, but it’s not mine. I thought I told you to trust me?
P: I do trust you. I wrote it in my fundraising letter, I have an extra copy I can show you.
JC: Oh, I’ve seen it, but no, you’re not trusting me. You’re trusting yourself and your own means. You’re trying to take control again. If you trusted me, you would know that you’re right where you’re supposed to be. My plan is already set in motion, my timing is perfect, and it’s not for you to know.
Ouch. It’s true. My lips were saying “I’m trusting God,” but my actions were saying “I can do this on my own.” I would consider this a spiritual revelation, and with all revelations comes a time for a response and mine was easy: I said “Okay. I’ll stay.” So when my parents asked me the next day what my landlord said, I told them, “That’s not what I’m supposed to do. By moving home I’m giving up on God and not letting Him work. I’m supposed to stay. I’m supposed to trust God.”
He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or periods that the Father has set by His own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:7-8.
Up to that day I had received exactly $610 in donations to my World Race. Over the next six days my donations quintupled. I went from having $610 to $3205. The Lord provided more over those six days than I make in a month. I cried a lot of tears of overwhelming joy over those six days. From receiving multiple donations from people and families I hadn’t seen or spoken to in 10 years, to an anonymous $500 donation, and the $1,000 donation from my home church. And the whole time I could picture my Heavenly Father smiling, chuckling even and saying, “See what happens when you trust me? I told you my plan was better.”
I know I’ve said it a million times before, but I’m saying it again: I am so thankful. I am thankful for kind humans with generous hearts willing and ready to aid in the advancement of the Kingdom. I am thankful for the encouraging souls that are walking this journey with me. And more than anything I am thankful for a God who is the Master Planner and has a far better plan in store for me than anything I could ever imagine.
Man says,
“Show me and I’ll trust you.”
God says,
“Trust me and I’ll show you.”
All honor and glory be Yours today and forever.
