Going into Africa, the Lord gave me the phrase to dwell in the fullness of my presence. In Zambia that looked like a season of silence. Where I received the words stay and wait, sit and rest from my mentor and learned how to quiet my spirit to align it with His. I learned how to hope. I learned how to receive grace.
In Botswana it looked like recognizing my fullness in the Father’s. Wherein I wrote a list of all things He says I pour out, and it wasn’t until the end of that list that I realized every single explanation started with “because the spirit dwells so fully within me…” And it became evident to me that I actually do have the capacity to pour out love and grace and hope and praise because I’m pouring out of the fullness of he who is in me and not just me.
And in Namibia the Lord granted me with the following revelation. One of those revelations where you just sit there afterwards holding your Bible, completely and utterly overwhelmed at everything in your hands. Realizing how much there is to know and how you want to know it all and know you can spend a whole lifetime and still not know everything, but you’re not supposed and that’s okay because God knows. Yup. And it’s hard to put into words, but I’m going to try anyways, so here it goes.
“But let those who love Him be like the SUN when it comes out in full strength.” Judges 5:31.
“And HE shall be like the light of the morning when the sun rises, a morning without clouds, like the tender grass springing out of the earth, by clear shining after rain.” 2 Samuel 23:4.
Those who love the Lord will be like the SUN at full strength; meaning we will be like the SON in His fullness.
“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11.
The Lord IS the SUN: the greatest source of light, energy, warmth and light in all the universe; the center and object of orbit.
He IS the SHIELD: a sign of great strength, defense, protection and His desire is to place a covering over His people for their preservation.
What He GIVES is GRACE and GLORY: grace solely for the sake of grace (John 1:16), grace given in such an abundance that we never fully understand and to such a degree that it slowly melts into a further incomparable glory.
“The sun shall no longer be your light by day, nor for brightness shall the moon give light to you; but the Lord will be to you an everlasting light, and your God your glory.” Isaiah 60:19.
In Zambia, the Lord gave me a vision of an industrial fan. The blades moving almost painfully fast, allowing me only to catch a glimpse of light in their absence. The Father reminded me that in the absence of physical light, we are quick to forget who God is and what it is that He gives away. Yet, His being and His nature are not dependent on our sight, but in spite of it.
This morning I was up at 5:15 am, excited to see the sunrise once again after days of being sick. However, I was unable to see it because it was a rainy day. The clouds covered everything. But that didn’t mean that it wasn’t still morning. That it wasn’t a new day. That the sun hadn’t come up. It’s easy on a sunny day: a day where all is illuminated. The sun is seen and its warmth felt. The path feels lit and easily walkable. The Lord feels near.
And yet, it’s on those rainy days where He is the nearest. Because when the sun is not seen and the area around us is not lit, WE are called to be the source of light, energy, warmth and light. To pour out of the fullness of the Son within us. The path may be dimmer, but that just means we’re called to walk with that much more caution, precision, trust and dependence on the Father. In reality, we don’t need to see the Lord’s plan in its fullness. I mean, we can’t. We couldn’t handle it. Instead, He graciously grants us with the ability to see only the present. He places pieces of Himself IN US as walking heaven on earth. He calls us to walk one step at a time.
“What is man, that You should exalt Him, that You should set Your heart on Him, that You should visit Him every morning?” Job 7:17-18.
Same, Job. But thanks, Jesus, for doing it anyways. And giving us far more than we ever deserve.
*I’m slowly reflecting on my last three months in Africa as I get ready to fly out to Malaysia on Monday!
**I’ve written another ministry specific blog that will be posted before the weekend is over. Stay tuned.
***I’m officially FULLY FUNDED. Thanks, Jesus!! Thanks, friends!!
