What do you do when you are in a season of brokenness and loneliness. A season where you know that God has called you to but as you are in it, you wonder to yourself, why am I feeling this way, why do I feel like I am being pushed up against the wall by the ones God has called me too. What do you do in a season where you know God is there and He is with you but on the outside you feel lonely, unwanted and underappreciated.
My thought life has always been one of the many areas I struggle spiritually, its always one that I have to always be on guard of, speaking truth to myself, not allowing myself to wander off to far in the land of day dreaming. I have to admit though, that sometimes more times than I would like to admit, I give up, moments where I feel like no one understands my vision or care to dig deeper into understanding, moments where I feel like I am up against the world or the world around me, moments where I feel alone and tired…those moments, I give in, I give in to the day dreaming and the random thoughts, I give in to the lies by allowing them to even be spoken, I just sit there and let it all come down.
I am currently in the in between of there right now, I am in the space of feeling physically, emotionally and mentally tired but spiritually wanting to fight. I am in the middle of where I just want it all to come to a pause, where I can just be uninterrupted with the Trinity, not having to think about a schedule or the next to do thing, where I can just be and not think about anything or anyone and just be with God! Just sit with Him, on His lap and allowing Him to shower me, pamper me with His love, with His presents, with ALL that He is.
Exodus 17:12
When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset.
This is where I am currently, Am I proud of it? Partially, no. Am I fighting? Partially, no. However I am choosing to be transparent and ask for pray. I am choosing to put my heart out there and show the world a part of my heart and where I am right now so you can partner with me by praying.
Galatians 6:2
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Thank you for coming on this journey with me through pray and financial support. Thank you for emails, the messages and for all the support without you I could not have started or continue to calling God has placed on my life. I will forever be thankful for everyone who has partnered with me on this journey.
If you would like to be a part of my journey, I have less than two weeks left to be fully funded for my Cambodia vision trip. On this trip I will meet my team, explore the country and ministries where I would be partnering with when I move to Cambodia as a Long term Missionary.
All you have to do is pick a number and donate that amount (5=$5). You can donate by clicking on the orange Donate button on the right corner of this blog. All donations are tax deductable.
