Disclaimer ; My mom has already read this letter and God is doing amazing things in our relationship.
Hi mommy,
This past ten months have been soo amazing for me, I have grown and become such a different person. I have become more of the woman that God has created me to be, I am stronger yet weak, I am bold yet humble, I am free yet a slave to God. I have learned soo much about God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit and my personal relationship with them. I know their voice and trust in everything that they tell me.
So here I am in Malaysia sitting on my sleeping pad on the floor of a church, just got back from a coffee shop with my friends/teammates and God is asking me to write this letter to you, letter telling you about your daughter, Oriolyne Ruchama Lubin and her story. My story of my life and the dark places in it that I have never shared with you or anyone in my life outside this mission trip.
I want you to know that I don’t blame you for ANYTHING that has happened in my life, I don’t blame ANYONE because I know that it was all the works of Satan. See Satan knows that when I was created that God created me for greatness so Satan started attacking me from birth, he was and still is fearful of all that God created me for.
Growing up in St.Maarten is an experience that I would never want to change, I got to grow up on a beautiful island and experience cultures and a life that people pay thousands of dollars to experience in a week and I lived there but there is always clouds in the sky. While I loved growing up in a home where I had a married Christian couple and I am forever blessed for the experience of growing up in a church, there was alot of hurt. Within the walls of this beautiful home, I was told that I was not good enough, I was told that I was too skinny, I was to black, I could not dance, I was not smart and I was reminded daily that I was not blood related; I knew from a young age that I was different, and this kind of different was not a good thing. Please don’t feel bad for me. yes in the moment I felt alone and not enough but it also help me to try harder, I worked harder at school, I read more and just poured myself into learning until school became one of the easiest things for me. I pushed myself to learn how to be happy, to always find something to make me happy, even if I had to make it myself, I thought myself to be enjoy what I had, good friends, the loving Hod father i have, the people around me that cared and a dad that told me how beautiful and loved I was, I focused on the good in the world.
This part is the hardest for me to share, I want you to know that I was okay and I am healed and has forgiven and I want you to do the same, I don’t want you to feel like you could have prevented any of this because I do believe I needed to go through this in order to become the woman of God I am today, the woman that fights for the helpless, the woman that fights for the voiceless. I believe that EVERYTHING we go through in life is for a reason and the reason is to help others who are going through it heal and help others. I have learned that our life, our stories are not just for ourselves but for us to share. Satan wants us to go through life feeling like we are alone so he keeps us voiceless but in reality when one person speaks it releases the rest and it brings freedom.
Part 2 in Next Blog
