My name is Oriolyne and I have a confession..I am not enjoying Cote d’Ivoire; there it is I said it.
I have been pushing myself from the beginning of this month and I am physically, emotionally, mentally and above all spiritually drained and tired. I feel like just staying in my tent and waiting until Ghana and praying that it gets better.
I don’t want to hear try harder, I don’t want to hear ask your team for help, I don’t want to hear are you walking through it or around it, I don’t want to hear what do you need to do different, I don’t want to hear change your perspective, I don’t want to hear maby you need to move 1° to the other side, I just want you to read and know that I am coming from a vulnerable place where I have no idea what else to do (I’ve done ALL of the above).
I push myself in ministry and I am told to sit back, I am told wait, I am told let’s wait to see what the host says or does, I am told let’s just see what’s on the schedule, I watch as the Holy Spirit is being put in a box and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I push myself to spend time with the community and I get overwhelmed with 30 people at once, speaking at once, pulling on me, touching, petting and I become overwhelmed and over stimulated by all the senses and I feel like a bad person because I came here to share love and all I want to do is say please stop touching me.
All I have energy to do is spend time in solitude with God and I get asked if I am sick. I get told people are worried about me so I should come out and show them that I am okay. Team time (where we spend time reconnecting as a team/God, it’s one of my favorite things Adventures of missions has required us to do ) always gets interrupted and interruptions are accommodated.
I am drained and lost. Lost because I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know what else to do or what else to say so I am waiting. Waiting and continuing to push through, push through because I know God is with me, loves me and understands me regardless if no one else understands.
I am going to push through the end of this month with as much strength and energy that the Lord supplies me with. I am going to push through until He reveals Himself to me. I am going to push through until I see my people and get a solid hug from them. I am going to push through until I can’t anymore.
My name is Oriolyne and I am The Bold beloved warrior princess of the most high priest. (Thanks Karen). And I will not give up, I will not stop, I will not surrender to my flesh, I will keep pushing and thriving through this month and the months to come.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
UPDATE
Please keep me in pray, for strength, grace, patients, joy, compassion, love.
Keep my new team Oaks of righteousness in your pray for us to be unified, ALWAYS I’m EVERYTHING we do put GOD first, for us to FULLY trust in the trinity, for guidance, grace and love towards one another.
Keep V SQUAD in your prays. For boldness to do ALL God is calling us too. For health, for us to lean into God with all the transitions happening. For us to continue to be tradition breakers with love and humility.
Keep all missionaries in your prays during the holiday, bring away from Family is hard for some of us.
Thank you soo much for being in my corner these past months, your prays have been felt and I can not begin to express how thankful I am to have such an amazing team supporting me. LOVE YOU ALL!!!
