As I walked from my chateau (an REI tent) to the loo (a cabin bathroom that always lacked toilet paper), I gave myself a pep talk: “I can do this. Only a few more days.”
I only had to give myself a pep talk the first 2 days. I don’t camp. I like having options. I like having a pantry. I like my bed. I like my warm showers. I like being comfortable.
Training camp is designed to have an introspective view. It is for self-discovery and preparation.
Yes, I camped outside for an entire week. I ate small portions of unknown and nameless concoctions. I showered only once (my own choice). But that wasn’t what it was all about.
I learned a lot about God, my relationships, and myself.
I walked away from training camp with a new sense of freedom. I had God in a box. Throughout the years, I have changed the box I put Him in. I’ve made the box bigger and added bows. Occasionally, I’d open the box to peek in but I never took God out because I wasn’t sure what He would do.
What do I mean by “having God in a box”? I mean that I have limited God to only do what I allow Him to do. I claimed that God could do anything but I never wanted to know to what extent it was. I call Him the Healer but do I believe that He actually will heal? I call Him Lord but do I believe that He reigns over all things?
I know what to say when it comes to being a Christian. I can talk “Christianize” pretty well. Within Christianity, there is a lingo. It becomes dangerous when you know what to say and I knew what to say. My actions were good. My words were right. And my faith was consistent. But I had become comfortable with God in my pretty box.
Training camp took the lid off. At first, I was a little taken aback. I was skeptical. I watched the people around me. I had to stop though. It wasn’t about me, them, and God. It was all about God and me.
In order to be able to share the Gospel for 11 months in foreign countries, I have to be able to know God in a more intimate way. Training camp definitely was that for me.
I now, more than ever, know that the race is something that I am being prepared for. I feel like I walk taller, speak louder, and love deeper. I walk in a sense of freedom that only God is able to give. I receive with open hands and an open heart.
I have had people consistently tell me that they believe in me but I don’t know if I believed in myself until now.
I can’t wait. I’m more than excited.
If you would like to know more, I’d love to share the details. Please be a part of my journey.
