spiritual warfare. it’s real. it sucks.
I am reporting to you live from costa rica. a place that I have experienced a crazy amount of joy & blessings in. ALSO the place where I have been attacked by the enemy harder & more than ever before.
I would like to preface this blog with a quote from the amazing man of God that is Levi Lusko in my new favorite book, I Declare War.
“strongholds put a chokehold on the joy, growth, freedom, and strength you are meant to experience”
the past month & a half I have quite honestly been dragging my feet. one thing on top of the other, burdens & worries & just about every single emotion available to humans has been piling up in my heart. things are messy at home. I have had to let go of relationships that I am currently not able to fight for. I have struggled with what community is supposed to look like. I had to say see you later to one of my best friends who left the race. I have felt incredibly homesick. incredibly overwhelmed. incredibly defeated. like I am unable to catch a break. also kinda lonely which is a weird thing to feel when you live with nearly 40 people???
in the midst of all of this, my teammate, Prelsey, was able to speak some truth over me when I REALLY really needed it. she was blindfolded & couldn’t see which member of my team she was speaking over but it just so happened to be me & it applied directly to what was going on. she said she saw a vision of a boxer during a match. the boxer would get knocked down time & time again. he was so tired but would somehow always make it to the next round. to some people that could go right over their head, but that same morning I listened to a podcast where the preacher also referenced a boxing story. pastor Michael Todd of Transformation Church gave a sermon titled “Marked” (listen/ watch it on youtube or podcasts it’s incredible) & told a boxing story involving him & his brother from their childhood. he was explaining how he was bigger & stronger than his brother & was confident that he would win their fight, until his brother clocked him straight in the face during a strictly “bodyshot” fight. he solidified it with the statement that says “there’s never a hit like the one you don’t see coming”.
what has been getting me through the rounds is without a doubt Jesus. despite getting knocked down countless amounts of times & it being totally unexpected, He is bigger & constant. some truth that has been harder than usual to grasp, but as Levi said I am meant & made to experience good things from the Lord. the devil knows full well that I hate not being with people I love. not being able to help them in their times of hurt. Levi also says, “if you live long enough to love deeply, you will hurt significantly”. straight up. I have been told I love deep & hard & I have recently come to realize how accurate the second part of that statement is.
with all that being said this is where I am at: I have been hurting, & as much as it sucks, I still am. things are still super tough but by not fighting for my relationship with Jesus as much, I am letting the enemy attack WAY easier. again with a quote from Levi, “it might not be that you need a huge change to achieve significant forward progress. you might be moving in the right direction, just making it harder on yourself than you need to.” (I am telling you people, this man is literally amazing). side note that I just remembered: Levi once gave a sermon totally unrelated to this book that said once you’re at rock bottom the only way to go is up. (wow I might be obsessed). point is, I am on my way up because that is where God is. I am on the way to achieve significant forward process. to obtain the joy, growth, freedom, & strength talked about earlier. I am SO glad I have a team & leaders that are so patient & gracious in my need to feel all my feels. that I have people who will fight for me when I can’t because the devil never stops throwing punches. however, God goes before me & is behind me in the daily battlefield of life & I am tired of hiding in the trenches. I am called to face this junk head on & that’s what I want to do.
from this point forward, I will be meditating on this scripture from Ephesians 6. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” (v. 12-13) stand firm! those are the next two words on the chapter & a statement that I have held onto this whole race.
again, the enemy is constantly trying to knock you while you’re down. my prayer for everyone reading this (including myself), is that we can remember to put on the armor of God, stand firm, & cling to the fact that evil stands zero chance against our Heavenly Father. do NOT let strongholds the enemy might be using against you at the moment to doubt how strong He is.
thank you for reading!
much love, olivia
