I don’t like being in the dark. I ask a lot of question, because I like knowing things. Two year olds are known for being ultra curious, always asking “why?” Psychologists say this is because they are in a “discovery” stage, where they are coming into the comprehension that there is a lot they don’t know, and they’re trying to figure out how the world works and why it works that way. I don’t think I ever grew out of that stage.
Faith is defined as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. The part that always catches me is that faith doesn’t ask “why”. Don’t get me wrong, having faith and knowing why are not mutually exclusive, in fact I believe they fortify each other. But faith does not require a “why”.
As I’ve developed my friendship with God, I’m finding myself back in my two-year old mindset. Always asking why, always wanting assurance, always wanting an answer. And He’s been so faithful to give them to me… except when He doesn’t. And then I freeze because I so want to know for sure I’m doing things His way because He’s shown me over and over that His way is the BEST.
“So why won’t you answer me??” I ask again and again, “I want to trust you but I don’t see where this is going?” Ah, there it is again, my faith is dependent on me knowing the outcome.
Maybe you’ve heard this one before, “sometimes, no answer it the answer.”
What the heck is that supposed to mean??
Feels more like hearing “have fun staying confused!”
God made me, He knows how my mind works and He knows that I struggle with not knowing, so today He gave me this: No answer isn’t meant to leave me in confusion, it’s meant to leave me in peace.
Oooooooookay then. What is that supposed to mean? Because it sounds a little bit like a cop out to me.
Now I know, I know, God doesn’t do cop outs. I’ve just been waiting for an answer on some stuff for a HOT minute now and feeling like I have one and then second guessing and then realizing that I don’t and it’s a bit frustrating that the first time I hear something solid, it’s the whole ~no answer is your answer~ deal.
But, like I said, me and God are friends, and I know He wouldn’t do me like that unless it was the best thing. So I decided to go with it, and then it started to make sense. If I take my hands off the situation, if I quit asking what to do and just back off, I’m finally giving God the space to work out the details without my incessant nagging. And just like He said, that leaves me not with tension, but with peace.
