Nine months. Nine months of living in another country, in another culture, facing unfamiliar problems and fulfilled promises. Eleven Days. Eleven days to meet the people I will be experiencing those nine months with, and to prepare…
How much preparation for nine months, can happen in eleven days? I’ll tell ya.
A whole lot.
A whole lot of realization that you cannot truly prepare for what you are about to experience, that’s for sure.
My mentality going into training camp was far from the kind of excitement a kid approaches summer camp with, but it was far from dreadful. Don’t get me wrong, I was excited, and I was nervous, but ultimately I had a mental standard set to expect the unexpected.
I wasn’t expecting bucket showers, spiders the size of my face, or to miss my family as much as I did.
However, I wasn’t expecting to like bucket showers, the beauty in the brush surrounding me, or to love these people I had never met as a family, as I can’t believe I didn’t know them before.
Aside from the team bonding, meals from all over the world, and bucket-showering/tent-sleeping fun, I wasn’t expecting such spiritual and emotional growth, and in THAT I do feel prepared.
I was called to do this crazy thing, and I was not exactly sure why He wanted me to be a missionary. Despite my spiritual immaturity and the reoccurring waves of self doubt, I trusted that calling with a willing and happy heart. With that being said, by the time training camp rolled around I thought I was ready, my faith was set. But, this camp provided me with a refreshing reminder of God’s power. A reminder of how incomprehensibly and beautifully vast His depth, height, width, and infinite ability is. I gained insight on different cultures, their beliefs, and the differences between their “okay” and “not okay” from ours as Americans. My admiration grew for what it looks like to be intentional with God and His children, my brothers and sisters, and what it looks like to listen and be obedient to Him. I grew spiritually and emotionally equipped during a camp’s eleven day crash course in a way that even if I wanted to expect it, I couldn’t. God showed up, not that He ever left, but by this I mean his presence was BEAMING.
Now I know this is getting wordy, but for the details; keep reading.
It wasn’t until I experienced a bit of a dry season just a few days into camp, I didn’t feel Him while worshiping in the way I normally had, and although He is worthy of praise at all times, I couldn’t sing with an inauthentic heart. I prayed and begged and cried, thinking, “am I doing this wrong”? Can He not hear me? How am I going to do this thing without Him? I mean, come on, I knew He was there (and is here), but I let my feelings get the best of my faith. I challenged God, saying to Him “you have until the end of this song to show me something…” Haha. How dare I? However, He listened. In the middle of worship, a hand touched my shoulder and a leader called me over, saying “God wants me to tell you something”. Then she opened the Bible and straight out of Revelations came the reassurance I needed. He is open and He is waiting for me, I don’t need to do anything. Then, the song we were signing began to say exactly what she was reading, we both looked up in a “wow, that’s weird”… THEN a speaker goes on stage interrupting the worship, to say “I feel like I need to say this, you don’t need to try harder or focus harder, He is waiting for you.”. A triple whammy. How bout that? He showed me when He didn’t need to, just to make me feel loved and heard when I knew better than to think He didn’t care to listen in a moment of failing faith. He is good, and although I decided to follow Him a year ago, which brought me to this calling, I have realized what it means to walk with Him, and I said “Yes” to His open invitation, or invitations. He has never left my side and I will never leave His.
There is beauty in surrender, beyond a nine month trip of abandoning home, family, friends, jobs, school and comfort, but the surrender of the rest of our lives to something far greater than what we could do with our lives on our own.
We have been called to live how He intended us to live, so that we can TRULY live. Free from bondage, sin, shame, guilt, bitterness, anger, hatred, lies, and all that is not of Him. I said you cannot truly prepare for 9 months of mission work and all the surprises that will come along within that time, which is true in terms of adjusting to a life there, however, training camp surely did prepare me spiritually in reminding me who He truly is and who I truly am, and what He is going to do with that.
Simply in knowing how to love like Him, I am ready for this mission. Recognizing how urgent it is, I am even more ready. There are people that simply don’t know about God, about Jesus, and rather than converting anyone to Christianity, we are called to point them to Jesus. Matthew 28:19-20 says it best.
I could not be more excited to begin this journey with the selfless, real, beautiful people God has handpicked for this route. And I can’t wait to tell you more about them and what He is doing in and through all of us. For now, I will enjoy my bed and a good burger for a little while longer. Next stop, Swaziland!
With love,
Olivia
