Through this process so far I’ve been in so much mental self-conflict of what others might say and think. Between asking for money, traveling the world, and being “jobless” when I return home. People may say I’m lazy, they may say how great it is to get to go on vacation for a year, they will assume someone else will help me, they may come to conclusion that I’m running away from reality. Some have already said something along the lines of “Must be nice.”
But the truth is none of these things are true. I’ve been beating myself up over what a select amount of people may say rather than seeking what this means to me. I’ve come to the realization that I’m not begging people for money; I’m inviting others to stand by my side and support me through a journey that God has called me on.
I’m not in it to travel the world, I won’t be on vacation for a year, and I’m not running from reality. I’m running to reality. The reality of what is actually going on in the world- homelessness, pains, hunger for God, burdens, true hopelessness- not just the reality of the small bubble I live in.
I’m also not lazy. And I’m sure not trying to be jobless. If I had it my way, I would stay in my little town, close to my family, cleaning houses and cutting hair for the rest of my life. But God’s plan is different for me in this season. And when I come home, I will not be jobless, I will be well equipped for wherever God directs me.
So no this isn’t a vacation, and this isn’t something that someone else will help me with. I need YOU. I need your love, support, and understanding to get there. This is something God has called me to be very brave in. In leaving my comfort for things unknown so that He may reach others through me and for Him to strengthen His call for me. And also to be brave in one of my weakest points, to ask others for help. So please, be with me through this journey whether it’s through prayer, financially, or just giving me a few words of encouragement.
-olivia
