I want to tell you a story of a lady I met on the first day of ministry (Feb. 10) in Nicaragua in the village of Bethel (pronounced Bu-tel).
I can see her face so clearly, as she peeked around the corner of the doorframe of her small blue home. I can see the pain and despair in her eyes. I can feel my heart sadden for her pain. I still see her staring with watered eyes as her husband greeted the large group of us as we walked into the gate of their small dirt front lawn. All I could do was stare at her as our ministry host introduced us to her husband and explained his sickness. He had a kidney disease that many of the Nicaraguans have as a result of the dangerous herbicides they come in contact with from working in the sugar cane fields.
Our group began to pray for her husband and family. As we prayed, I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. My heart wouldn’t release the pain I was sensing she had. I wanted God to comfort her and give her rest so badly. As we finished praying we gave them hugs and left their home. I wanted to say something, anything, to show her the love God had for her, but no words came out. I just gave her a smile and asked her name. As she uttered her name, the girl next to me said her name meant queen. Reina.
When we arrived at the next house, I tried to drown out the sadness I felt by focusing on the adorable babies on the front porch with their mother. But even as I tried to distract myself, I couldn’t stop thinking about Reina. I knew I needed to go back to her house. So I turned away and started to walk back, praying that she would still be standing outside. As I went through the gate and saw that she was home, I realized I had no clue what I was going to do or say. It was especially difficult because I couldn’t speak Spanish, but I trusted that God would guide me.
I gave her husband a quick “Hola,” then directed my attention toward her tear-filled eyes. All I could think of to do was hug her. In that moment she squeezed me so tight and we both began to weep. I had no clue what she was facing, but I felt her pain and her hurt. I began to pray aloud, begging God to show himself to her, let her know he was with her, and that he had not abandoned her. I didn’t want her to just feel better; I wanted her to truly experience the love God had for her. After finishing my prayer, we hugged for a moment more and said goodbye.
Again, it was hard to walk away from her. My heart still felt so uneasy and pained for this woman I just met and knew nothing about, except for the fact that she was loved by God. When I met up with my group, I closed my eyes and prayed for Reina. While praying, I envisioned us playing cards together, which confused me. I kept praying for this hurting lady and began to feel peace about the possibility of reuniting with her later in the month.
Soon after, our group began to walk back to the truck to leave the village of Bethel. As we walked down the dirt road, I continuously thought about how I needed to see Reina again. In that moment I looked down at my feet and just about freaked out. Laying on that dusty dirt road was a blue playing card. As I picked up the card, I was in shock. It wasn’t a coincidence that I found a card right after receiving a vision of playing cards with Reina. It was a promise from God. A promise that I would see Reina again, a promise that he is good, a promise that he sees us.
A minute later I saw another card partially buried under the dirt. With hesitation I left it there, but then decided to run back and grab it. My whole body got the chills and my heart overflowed with love and joy. I realized the card I picked up was a Queen, a Queen of Hearts, the meaning of the name Reina. Another promise, a promise that He is working in Reina’s life, a promise that He loves her, and a promise that He is going to use me to be a part of it.
That night I wrote in my journal, still in awe of what happened, “Wow, just wow. Our God is so big. Today amazing things happened. Today was another one of God’s beautiful days and he allowed me to walk with Him through it. I am so mind-blown by the simple ways in which God works. The way that He shows His love and heart to us. I cannot wait to see Reina again. I cannot wait to tell her how God used her in my life and remind her He is working in her life. Reina is a queen of hearts. A queen after God’s heart. A queen who fills others’ hearts. A queen who lets her heart be filled.”
March 3
I leave Nicaragua tomorrow. 5 am to be exact. I will miss this beautiful place and these beautiful people who have loved me so graciously. But I have some cool news. I got to see Reina Monday!!! Finally, after over three weeks of begging to see her, things worked out and we got to visit. She was bright-eyed and smiling as we walked up to her house. We didn’t get to play cards, but as Lauren (one of the amazing ladies of Vision Nicaragua/my translator), three others from our group, and I sat with her and her husband under the awning of the small porch of her blue house I knew it was exactly what God wanted. As Lauren translated, my memories flashed back to the day at the beginning of the month. I reminded her of our group coming to pray and how I came back to give her a hug, curious if she remembered me. I explained to her all the emotions I had in those moments, then told her the story of the cards.
After I finished up the story, her eyes teared as she began to speak. She said she remembered me walking back through the gates and meeting her at the doorway after everyone was gone. She remembered me hugging her and sobbing with her. She remembered me praying in English and having no clue what I was saying. But she said it was okay.
One thing I didn’t know was that moments before our group came to her home, she was crying out to God in her room. It was one week before her husband, who has the kidney disease, was going to have surgery. She was exhausted, losing faith, and confused as she cried out to God and pleaded for a hug. She needed to feel His love.
She explained that when I came back to give her a hug, cry with her, and pray for her, she felt a peace over her whole body. She felt everything change. She knew God was there. The hug I gave her had nothing to do with me. The hug I gave her was an answered prayer. The hug I gave her was from God; I just got to be there for it.
I am so honored by the things God allows me to be part of. I am so grateful that God allows me to see the way He works. I get to see His beauty just by saying yes. In every situation it is so easy to say no. I could have made excuses: the kids at the next house were so cute, I didn’t know if Reina was still outside, I can’t speak Spanish, what will I say to her, she may think I’m some weird American. But instead I said yes. I pray that each of us will say yes. I pray that each of us will choose to see the beautiful ways in which our amazing God works.
