An update of my…life?
I have never felt the way that I do right now before in my entire life. So many mixed emotions. Happy, excited, overwhelmed, freaking out, the list goes on! But in all of these emotions I can say one that I am not is scared.
I was accepted into the world race in October. Many racers have been accepted for about a year already. They have had time to prep, fund raise, get gear and so on. Me…… Not so much. I launch in 5 weeks and I don’t even have a quarter of my funds raised. I only got my passport in the mail yesterday and I have no idea how I am going to get my life in the order I want to leave it in for a year.
In the 3 months that I have been accepted I have only been NOT working for 12 of those days. And this is the go until you drop, work more than you sleep, weld in -40 kind or work. So it’s pretty obvious to say I have had zero time to myself. In the minimal times that I do have free, I try to make the most of it. Sucking up every possible bit of quality family time and going out with my girls, laughing and making memories. Even though that is how I would love to spend all my free time, I HAVE TO FREAKEN PREP MY LIFE TO BE GONE FOR A YEAR!! Think about how overwhelming that could be. So that means, having my room perfectly clean, organizing legal stuff, doing sucky online WR courses, getting vaccines, gear, fundraising, writing and sending out support letters and so on anddd sooo onnnnn. Sometimes I break down thinking; “there is no possible way to do this in the little time that I have.” Then I call my sister and cry on the phone as she reorganizes my life. Picks up my face off the ground and shows me “we can do this together.” (Yes this is a real example) Then others times its like “why cant it be launch already?!” 5 weeks! JUST 5 WEEKS!
My life is chaos and if I could put a picture to how I feel it would be a teacher. I would be the one with the chalk dust on my face, a mountain of tests to mark and a paper airplane aimed right for my head. But guess what, I’m still not scared. I have 2 of the most amazing things ever, family and friends who love and support me and I have God. Although prepping for this trip is beyond crazy the support I have is beyond me.
I’m not scared that I still have over 10 thousand dollars to raise because I was put on this raise for a reason. And it’s supposed to happen. So I will be provided for. And I believe it.
I know that this trip is going to be a major alter in my life and I hope that I don’t come back the same in any way at all. I expect to learn amazing life lessons; I expect to get frustrated at teammates, God and myself. I expect to have divine experiences that change the way I see life. I expect to barf my brains out at one point or another from some sort of bacteria. I even expect to have all sorts of creepy crawlies join me for slumber parties. But still I’m not scared.
I guess what I am trying to say from all of this is this:
My life is crazy and stressful. I have no time for myself, and the needs of this trip are over whelming. The trip that I am leaving for isn’t some 5 star all-inclusive vacation but rather a fight for life. I am leaving behind an easy and comfortable life because I want to be stretched, grow and see miracles. I want my faith to be tested and to know just how much God cares about us. I want to observe my surroundings and see the norms of how people live. I want to hear others stories and laugh and cry with them. I know that I was put on this Race on purpose and just these few reasons are enough to make all the worries of prep seem minor. Allowing me to not be scared at all but rather wonderfully pleased. Knowing that I am living out the calling of my life.
Other notes:
I have one work shift left. My last workday is December 18
My current route is as follows: (changes have already been made)
Jan: Ecuador
Feb: Peru
March: Bolivia
April: India
May: Nepal
June: Malaysia
July: Thailand
August: Cambodia
September: Vietnam
October: Malawi
November: Zambia
