“Be still and know that I am God” -Psalms 46:10
I’ve felt kind of consumed lately. Consumed by life and school and track and getting letters sent and graduation and everything that is to come. It all seems piled up right in front of me, even though a lot of it is weeks away. It’s hard to live like this. I thought about how so many people regularly live their lives being consumed by it, and how easily it can happen without even realizing it.
Last Monday was the one year anniversary of my friend Nehemiah meeting Jesus. I caught a break from the busyness for some much needed reflection. Nehemiah is the perfect example of loving life and it loving you right back. He knew how to live, and Jesus worked amazing things through his wild spirit and fearless lifestyle. My Lenten bible study had just finished the day before, and I felt a pull towards the book of Nehemiah. Jesus had a treat in store for me with this one. It’s crazy how Miah is still affecting my life even a year after being gone, and how the Lord is using our short friendship to reveal things to me now. We have a good, good Father.
The story of Nehemiah is one of a broken wall and a broken heart. You see, when Nehemiah heard of the wall of Jerusalem (his hometown) being destroyed, he felt so, so deeply. He knew he had to drop everything and go build it up again, and make things right for the people of Jerusalem. He had to recruit people to accomplish this daunting task and jump out of his comfort zone to say yes to God’s calling for him, but he wasn’t afraid. Nehemiah was one of great faith, and his story just so happens to align perfectly with the current consummation of my life. Jesus is a “funny” guy.
This re-building of the wall Nehemiah had in store was no walk in the park. I can relate it a lot to the preparation of my journey on the World Race. I’ve been so worried and anxious about fundraising and making sure my letter is perfect and saying all the right things so people will donate, but that’s not my job. My job is to simply be excited and love with a love that reflects Christ. Yes I need to do the work, and as it states in my study devotional, the work isn’t always “beautiful or glamorous or filled with spiritual fervor and fluffy feelings, but it is so very, very good and necessary to get the wall built” (a.k.a. the wall of $14,000 in my case). So yeah, writing a letter asking people for support in prayer and especially financially has been really hard and frustrating and time consuming and scary but I’ve had to realize that it’s not about me. It’s about God and how He will work in the hearts of others. My strengths and talents cannot affect a thing in this unless God wills them to. Everything comes down to God’s goodness and His incredible power and His gracious, gracious heart. This realization, however, is not an invitation to rest. It’s not just my own hesitant moments that I am up against. There have been and will be people who will doubt the idea of stepping out of the social norm for a high school graduate, but I must care and fight for the will that God has put on my heart, and know that He will work to not only change hearts, but bring support and acceptance.
As I continue along on this challenging journey I must not be consumed. I know I will be busy and overwhelmed at times, but I must remember to always live mindfully and let Jesus be my comforter and supporter when things feel out of control. I am ready, like Nehemiah was, to build this wall. I’ve discovered a tiny little section of my path, and now is the time God will grow me and stretch me so I can be all the more prepared to do His will in only 6 short months. Life is busy, but God asks us to “be still” in moments, not in days.
Lots of Love,
Olivia
“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in You.”
-2 Corinthians 4:8-9,12
