Today begins a new chapter of my life. The one I like to call ‘Accepting My Life Will Never be Normal’. Of course, this most likely is not news to anyone I know. I am the opposite of normal in everything I do. I like Grandma style clothes, I like music from the renaissance, I took a year off before deciding what to do with my life. But do I know yet? This year was the year for me to prepare. I was supposed to know what I was going to do with my life by now!
Looking back on the seven months I have so far been away, I realize I had a new life plan every month if even every other week.
But that is okay.
I stressed so much to so many people (including my poor, sweet, tolerating Mother) about how confused I was about the future, that God was not making anything clear, and my tragic fears of becoming a garbage worker. I was completely lost. I had hidden all sight of what God’s word had promised me for my future:
“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.”
—Psalm 39:7
“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”
—Romans 12:12
“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.”
—2 Corinthians 4:17-18
“The sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
—Romans 8:18
Hope, trust, Glory, patience, and prayer are all the biggest constants in these verses. What reason have I to stress? I will be arriving back in America in two months but have no idea what I am going to do. But that is okay. For now, I listen and hold onto the words of my steadfast Father, for He has things in store that I could not possibly imagine. Things I cannot compare to what I think I want now. Those things He will far surpass with things He knows I need.
Every door to what I thought was good for me has been tenderly closed, and I might still be on the path to discovering open doors that will never close, and I am okay with that. People around me might have a solid plan, which is good. I do know my plan, and that is riding the waves of my Savior’s faithful mercy. My plan is to follow Him to the end, whatever that means for my future.
So no, I have not decided what to do with my life, but a King has.
I accepted a long time ago my life was never going to be the American dream most wish for.
No, God has decided something far more than the worth of diamonds for me.
“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
—Lamentations 3:21-23
