“The Homeless” Heavenly Eyes::Part II

This is a long blog. If you can’t read
it now, save it, and read it all later. I truly think God can impact you
through it though. If you don’t read it all, that’s okay, but just read these BOLDED words in the beginning and end. The shorter version, and you’ll get the point. 

 

 

 

Tonight, I walked from the parking lot
into the 99Cents store and saw a man, about 40 years old, sitting on the
ground in front of the store in between the children’s carousel and
mini horse. His clothes were a little dirty, and bike strapped with a
bag. We caught eyes for 3 seconds, and I could tell by the look in his
eyes, something was off. Just was. He was homeless, and had a look of
despair.

I don’t know their stories. I didn’t talk with them. I sometimes
do talk and love on strangers. But this night I didn’t. I didn’t feel
guilty for not acting this night though. But I know God wanted to do
something in me through it. Here’s what he did…

The look of despair, wow. It hit my
heart. I sat in my car as I drove home and cried. My heart was broken. I don’t know
their situations. All I know is the look I saw on their faces. An
internal look. As if their faces weren’t the reality. But their faces
showed the middle of their hearts. And what the hearts were shouting
was a brokenness, a despair, a sense of loss or being lost. I
couldn’t bear it. I simply couldn’t walk out of the movie theatre and
not let it hit my heart. It didn’t steal away from the joy of the
night. I totally enjoyed dinner at El Pollo Loco with my mom and
aunt. And the movie, it made us laugh, and say ‘ahh, how sweet.’ good times. But the looks I
saw tonight reminded me of another world. A world that at times feels
not a part of mine.

 

My world, if I let it, can completely be void of
this other world. My world is working out at a gym that is fit for a
king – pools, theatre, spa, sauna, and amenities that out do any
hotel I’ve stayed in. A world where I eat 3 healthy and hearty meals
a day, at home and out at nice restaurants and burger joints. A world
where I sit in my sporty 2 door Honda Civic sports coupe, worship
music on, heater going – warming up my feat after the cold walk
form the theatre exit to the parking lot. My world. I don’t feel
guilty, and neither should you about your world. I also don’t feel trapped by
it.  I make sure of that. I can let go of any of this at any
point. It’s taken me 29 years to achieve being unteathered at any
moment to my life of abundance. Do I feel entitled to it? Mostly no. But at times, yes!
And
that’s not good. I am not entitled to anything in life except what my
sins deserve. And this issue has been resolved on the cross. Jesus’
grace is amazing. And all I have and receive is because of his mercy
and grace on my life. Every possession I have, every ounce of favor,
every dollar in my account, every friend on my facebook, every hope
for my future. All of it! I only get any of this because God chooses
to bless me, his child, an heir to His goodness, a recipient of his
hope. I remember this. Like God told the Israelites to remember their
past. Because remembrence brings perspective. And remembering things
through God’s perspective brings a Holy perspective. And a Holy
perspective means healthy living. So I remember that the heater in my
car is a gift. And if that gift
breaks, or the car even stolen in the night, well that’s okay.
Because it wasn’t mine any way. I am the steward not necessarily the
owner.

 

So if I have reconciled all these things…not feeling guilt
for my life, not feeling trapped by possessions, and not feeling
entitled to my stuff, then what
am I left with? I’m left with the state of my heart.  Looking at them,
and not being okay that despair is okay. Breaking for another
human being that is hurting. I can’t always solve everyone’s problems.
I’m not Jesus. I can
help though. And I do. But this night opened my eyes to a deeper
compassion. Not a compassion to
just change their situation, but to see their face changed from despair
to
joy. To see the heart – brokenness, abandonment, loss…be
healed with a holy touch from heaven. A touch that this
world can’t provide. A drink can’t provide it. A new car can’t
provide it. A wife, a child, a home can’t provide it. Why? How can I
say this? Because I know there are countless, and you might know
someone or be someone yourself, that has all these things and even
more, but are hurting inside just like a homeless man.

 

 

I remember being in Africa. Oh the
lands of Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda, Swaziland. How I remember this
being another world. There’s no place on earth like the beautiful
continent of Africa. And Asia – the friendship and warm heartedness
of Nepal and the Philippines, the smiles of Thailand and Cambodia.
Africa and Asia, two amazing places on this earth. But two places
where I saw, as part of every day life, people living in the worst of
conditions. And I’m not talking about where you walk out of a movie
theater and see one guy homeless. I’m talking about whole communities,
whole towns, completely in poverty. There’s not a ‘nice’ part of
town. There’s only hundreds of tin roof shanty towns, city after
city. Men, women, children, dirt stained clothes, sitting on the side
of the road, in a continual state of living for survival. That is the
normal of their community, for everyone. As I looked at these two
men’s faces, it just reminded me of Africa, of Asia. Of how there’s
millions of people around the world tonight, from Simi Valley to
Swaziland, who have a look of despair. Skin color, age, language,
doesn’t matter. Who’s presidential face is on the front of their
currency, doesn’t matter. Despair knows no bounds. It doesn’t
discriminate, it doesn’t favor. It’s on EOE! And I don’t like that.
In fact, I hate it. And my heart breaks for it. I don’t have the
solution. And I know money can’t buy it. But I know someone else
who’s heart breaks even more that I can’t fully understand it: God’s
heart. And He does have the solution. He is the solution. He is the
essence of the solution. Wrapped inside of who He is, the magestic
nature of His love so big, that He breaks so deeply for the despair that
He
see’s. the tear that rolled down my cheek tonight, hurting because of
their despair, imagine God’s tears. And we know how he provided the
solution. Through Jesus, His
son, taking the beating and punishment for every human being. So that
despair doesn’t have to be eternal. Whether rich or poor, healthy or
sick, home owner or homeless, it’s only God’s love that brings the
touch of healing to a look of despair.

One thing is for certain. I sure have a
righteous anger against satan. I hate what he’s doing. I can’t stand for
it. It’s not okay, it’s not what is meant to be, and he better
recognize that he’s entered a battle with me, and you, holding a sword and
wearing armor in the army of the Lord.

 

Looks of despair will not prevail!