Thoughts on 3 days before turning 30!
Do you ever say to yourself…”Wow, I thought I’d have it all
together by now?”
Well, I do. Not always, but yes, sometimes.
I was facebook chatting with a friend, who just turned 25,
and she had similar thoughts. It made me realize we’re not alone. We chuckled over our light bulb flicker of thoughts.
Recently, that thought has crossed my mind. That my life
isn’t what I thought it would be or exactly where I might want it to be.
It’s one of those blah thoughts that comes and you wish it
hadn’t, but it does. It lingers for a bit, then it goes away, mostly. Ever had
that happen?
But sometimes it sticks. And then I have to kick in another
thought: Thankfulness!
I have SO much to be thankful for. Seriously! I think about ALL those ‘things’ –
good things in my life, past and present. And it makes me regain proper
perspective.
But turning 30 though is definitely making me go a little
more introspective and reflective than at other times.
So, you want to know a secret I’ve had?
I’ve actually been looking forward to 30 almost my ENTIRE
life. Seriously!
When I was about 15 years old, do you know what age I looked
forward to…30! Yep!
When I turned 18, turned 21, turned 25 I loved it, but really….I
looked forward to 30! That’s what got me excited, a secret joy inside. Crazy
huh?! I’ve had it since I was a kid. A good joy!
You might be asking why. Well, it was a few things –
– I always saw this as the age I’d be in, or starting, my ‘prime.’ You
know – maybe a successful Fortune 500 company president, the Dodger’s center
fielder, husband and father extraordinaire, author, pastor, missionary
adventurer….and on…and on…and on…
– 30 has always brought me a sense of pursuit. I’d be healthy as can be, sharp as a whip,
and walking out in Godly strength and confidence.
– And then there’s the personal hope and promise about 30 I’ve had,
with me and the Lord. That this would be a big year. A year of something in the
spirit shifting with me and Him. Walking something out, or walking out lifelong
desires that I could finally see them. A culmination of all my years past,
leading to the start and full swing of greatness going forward. A pivot point. A time of joy.
Well, as far as I can tell, no I’m not Benny Rodriguez (Sandlot)
of the Dodgers, I’m not Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook, or Francis Chan author
(although I’ve been told we look alike – it’s the bald head and Asian looks:)
BUT, I do have much to be thankful for and proud of. I kill
my flesh of comparison to others as best as I can, and sit with the Lord. And
HE reminds me of who I am. Who he created ME to be, not anyone else. And we go
on a history lesson. We watch old home movies in my head of all He has brought
me through in life. And you know what, there’s so much there that’s so good.
There’s hard stuff too. And there’s mistakes I’ve made, bad judgment
calls, and much to learn from. And there’s great successes and good risks I’ve
taken. God has blessed me, indeed! I have
amazing family, friends, and past jobs, churches, schools, adventures that make me
rejoice over who I am and where I’m at.
So, here I am. 3 days before turning 30. Navigating this
season of life here in Georgia, living and working. Not sure what tomorrow holds,
but sure of who holds it. Continuing my love and obedience of God. Having joy
in Him.
And a joy in the Lord, that it will be a good year. However
many days He gives me I’m thankful for.
And, though mysteriously scary and equally desirable, when I
go into the place called eternity/heaven, it will be amazing. Eternity with Him, my ultimate desire.
But today, I’m here, on
earth. The sunrise of 30 is on the near horizon, about to peak above the
waters of my life.
I stand firm on my years of excitement leading up to 30, and
believe in the promises of God in my spirit. It WILL BE all and more I could
have ever wanted.
And it will probably be a lot different then expectations I
have.
So do I have it all together by now? No. But that’s not the good question. The better question is, when did I get so buff? Good looking for 30! Just kidding 🙂 Cheesy dad humor.
Here I come 30, let’s do this!
