this is a blog i’m very upset to write, so please bear with me in the midst of pain and confusion and emotion (and grammatical errors, lol).
because of the absolute MAYHEM the coronavirus has caused worldwide, the organization i am partnering with has decided to send all squads who are currently on the field home. which means, i’ll be in texas pretty soon.
i don’t know what this entails. i’m not sure when this happens or what it will look like-but i know it’s very soon and i am not happy with it.
i have all of the thoughts swirling around my head right now and not much to outwardly express, but ima try my gosh darn hardest to put words to this.
yes, this sucks, a lot. as much as it has been hard leaving india and transitioning countries, i was so incredibly excited for costa rica. i felt at peace here. my ministry was going to be incredible and my squad has been growing even more in unity & friendship. the Lord has been moving in my heart and those around us.
& now it’s cut short. i thought i had three more months with the family i’ve created since being overseas. i wish i could express how much that stings. it’s hard to look at my squad mates right now because it physically hurts thinking about leaving them. this community i’ve been living in is SPECIAL. 40 people in one place for 7 months is something i will never get again. each person beside me radically pursued the Lord, and by pursuing Him, encourages me to dive deeper into His love. i have such sweet memories with these friends. some super hard ones. some embarrassing ones. & some downright ridiculous. they were with me when i fell in the sewer and with me when i was recovering. they watched me sing potato chip countless times in india. they witnessed me stress cut bangs in thailand. many integral parts of my journey were alongside these sweet friends. it sucks!!! that the time is ending much sooner than i thought.
i am choosing to find joy in this. to seek after God’s comfort, peace, and mercy in a world of fear, chaos, and uncertainty. i am undeniably shocked and sad, but PRAISE, my Heavenly Father is the King of kings and has all of this in the palms of His hands. i overheard one of my squad mates saying that He knew we were going to be overseas as the corona chaos was happening. He knew we would get sent home, and He knew it would suck. but He takes every scheme of the enemy and stomps on it. He takes every sliver of pain and suffering & breathes life into it. so, ya girl is gonna be seekin after the Lord’s perspective in the midst of confusion. prayers that i would be consistent in seeking refuge in Him.
to my supporters, y’all for real rock. you rock SO HARD. i hope i get to sit across a table with each one of you one day and tell you all of the stories that you played a part in making possible. without your donations and kindness, i would not have been able to live the best 7 months of my life. thank you thank you THANK YOU for everything. words cannot fully describe my gratitude.
ill be writing more blogs when i get back to the states. i have so many stories i want to share, now just isn’t the time for my brain to gather up the strength to recall them. have grace for me in this time of grieving the end of my race. i love you all. thank you for the continued prayers and support throughout this.
as always, all the love. <3 nol
