I‘m planning on keeping this one short, sweet, and vulnerable
Growing up between two different group of friends has always sort of made me feel that I was neither here nor there. Always just a little different, always fleeting. It stirred a loneliness in me. All this made me feel that I was different. I was never really apart of either group. Never completely fitting in. However most of all, it fueled an idea in my mind. That because I was just a little different, I was harder to love, that I wasn’t enough. That because I wasn’t completed by them, I also wasn’t close enough to share my burdens with them. That I’m alone, and unable to share my inner thoughts with anybody.
And because I believed wasn’t enough for my friends, I believed that I wasn’t enough for God. All my relationships revolved around a brutal lie. That I wasn’t enough.
In all this, I’ve found some good. I’ve found the desire to make other feel wanted, to feel heard, and know they are easy to love. It all comes crashing down however when I replace this output for and expected input. From selfless to selfish.
Expectations kill relationships
Expectations pollute how we see love
Caring for others becomes a chore of self careless
It puts pressure on others
It puts pressure on the man
When we need to put our pressure on The Lord, because he has never lost
He never will
I’ve walked in his promises, as many others have
None have fallen
None have been broken
Now I know that many of you struggle with this, but it’s time to let go. There’s something we have all been missing, myself included always. Our deeply rooted pillars of hurt, are supported by the lies we believe. Often times we get tunnel vision in these scenarios and we act out of self preservation and protection. It’s a virus. It’s not you.
While praying about this, the vision I received was this.
There is this plant, rooted so deeply into this mud, covered in roots that come from out of the ground, they are no longer hidden, and they hide and mutilate the image of true life in which that plant truly is. They are actually stopping this plant from getting light, or from reaching out. In turn the plant goes to a new source for life. It’s only source is from below, from the world, beneath the mud. Where an abundance of water and life has it stuck. No longer does it live based on the purpose it was given, but now in the purpose of survival. (Matthew 7:24 NIV)
We were not made to survive here. In fact we are to die in Christ as we give up sin, and our worldly desires. That is our gain. In a literal sense, it’s much easier to die for something than it is to live for it.
The Lord, in his might and everlasting strength pulls this plant out of the ground, it’s not pretty, all of the roots still cling, although it is out of the ground. As the light shines on what was once hidden, the roots begin to fall, and melt away. When there is nothing left but the original plant, The Lord take his new plant, and plants it in his own garden, where the soil is un polluted. (James 1:27 NIV) Where he waters each plant according to its need, so that there is never a build up of mud, or drought of life. Each plant is watched intently as he protect his garden, like a scarecrow, no action is needed but to be himself and the light that he is. The darkness of the night comes and he stands firm in garden, he cannot be afraid for it is not intertwined in his being. The plants grow as he tends them, closer and closer to heaven. As they grow into trees of life, they provide shelter from the storm for the plants around them who are still young. It is firm in the roots of life.
The Lord is vivid, and so he opened my eyes and mind up to something else.
That he understands. Truly. That “it’s just me and him”. (This was prophesied over me yesterday)
He is the most unloved…. but BY many of us. His sons and daughters that he created and crafted beautifully. He loves billions of people who don’t love him back. He gave everything he has to lift the burden from others, yet many say he is not enough. He gave his life, out of love and sacrifice for us.
Through all this, he does not change. Neither should you. He is here, but can you see him? He is speaking, but can you hear him? Do you know his voice, his image, his character? Either way he still loves you. His identity is not based on anything fleeting but of the absolute truth that he truly is. He is compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12). You will never find a verse or word in the Bible, proclaiming that he does not love you. He is so above it, and so are we. We are all loved, we are all enough.
It’s us and him
