The summer of my Junior Year was the best summer of my life. It was on a warm summer’s night in Etna, California. We had just finished an amazing worship service with Ronnie Freeman, and our group, Trac II, went off to the chapel to have our own separate talk while the other two groups stayed in the Big Top, which is where we had all of our talks for the week. We all walked up the large hill to the lodge hill, and up to the chapel, and made our way into the chapel. We sat down, and our leader, Maury, gave a speech that would change my life forever.
This story actually starts two years ago, when Ronnie Freeman came to my church and talked about this camp he works at in the summer and how amazing it was and said that is was for both high school and middle school students. This intrigued my mom, and she went to their website and signed me up.
My first year, which was Challenge, was a lot of fun. We went to the Pacific Ocean and tried to surf, but it was too cold so we played a huge game of football instead. We also went spelunking and camping in the Redwood National Forest. This was all fun and games, but I never really grew in my faith.
The next year was more memorable than Challenge. This time I was in Second Wind, and it was split into 20 different teams. We had the white bandanas and called ourselves Dunder Mifflin. That year we went white water rafting, and we almost `solo, where we spent 24 hours alone with God. I didn’t really do the solo, but I chose to meet with some of my friends in the group. It turns out we hung out together for much of the 24 hours. My second year the talks really spoke to me, and I responded by being baptized. However, I still did not take the religious piece of the camp seriously.
Then along came my third straight year, and my parents said it might be my last since our family has less money. So, along came the 5 hour plane ride to Sacramento, and then I got on a 9 hour bus ride to camp and arrived at JH Ranch at 10:30pm. When I got there, we heard a talk on how much fun we were going to have in Trac II. Then we were split up into our small groups and sent to go get our luggage and bring it to our cabin, which is where we would sleep for the next two weeks. Our first full day started out slow. We played get to know you games and other normal camp activities. The big moment that changed my life happened later that night. After an outstanding worship service by Ronnie Freeman, the whole Trac II group went up the Lodge Hill to go to the Chapel to hear our leader, Maury, give the talk for that night.
Maury started his talk off with Psalm 45 Verse 1, which says: “Beautiful words stir my heart. I will recite a lovely poem about the King, for my tongue is like the pen of a skillful poet”. From that, Maury went on to talk about how, when we are squeezed that Christ SHOULD come out. What he was talking about was if you are giving your life to God, when you are being squeezed, what comes out is what is on the inside. Whatever is in your heart is what will be squeezed out. This really shook me, and I began to think about what would come out of me if I were squeezed. He continued by saying that our heart is our greatest resource. He also said the voices of God, if not listened to, will end you. What he said really confused me and scared me. After he let that soak in, he said that society wants to fill your hearts with junk, and then Maury asked us this question: If you could have the dream life, job, house, but be separated from our Creator, would you take it? This question really made me think, more than I wanted to as a Christian. I thought of what would happen to me if I didn’t have God at my side. But then I remembered that I had never actually heard God speak to me before, and I didn’t really pay attention for a while. When I got back into the talk Maury was talking about how because of the hardness of the heart, the Bible will become useless. Though God designed man and wants to communicate to him, man today has become corrupt and chose life without God. These words were powerful, but what he said next was what really hit home. Maury asked a simple question: What makes the love of God seem so distant for some of us? After I heard these words, I almost started to cry. I felt a wave of sadness because I had never really felt the love of God, and I was distraught that I had no answer to his question, for I had never felt God’s presence. He then went on to talk about how man was made in God’s image and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. What he said next confused me. He said God says those who live with a fake heart under the banner of Good and Evil is death. After that he spoke about how man disagreed with God because they saw they were naked. He gave a definition of death I had never thought of after that; he said that death is being cut off from life. He said that we were being cut off from being in relationship with God. After that he gave the three main points of his speech: 1. There are forces in life that we do not see. Some happens under your hood. 2. Understand the knowledge of Good and Evil. 3. God’s goal is for us to eat from the Tree of Life. I sat there, mulling over these points, asking myself: How could I eat from the Tree of Life if I can’t even talk to God. Maury was not done, though. He said some final words that literally turned my world upside down. He started off with John 1:4, which says, “In him was life, and the life was the light of men”. After that Maury said when you get a glimpse of God in your life, it will radically change your life. It is God’s desire for you and him to become one. He then read from Ezekiel 36:26, which says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh”. He told us that 1. We need to evaluate our heart and 2. We need to know God’s intentions for us. He ended his talk with this: there is only one-way to change your heart: faith. With those words, I began to cry. I thought of how badly I wanted a glimpse of God, because I had lived 15 years without ever hearing a word or feeling anything from my Creator. I wanted my life to be radically changed. I did not want to be the same person. After his talk, Maury opened the floor to the leaders. He asked, if you felt something during the talk and wanted to come up and be prayed over by one of the leaders, you can come up. I waited in the Chapel probably 20 minutes; too scared to go up, scared of what my leader would think of me, think I was a coward. I finally gathered enough strength to go up to Tyler, who was one of the leaders for Challenge when I was in it. I went up to him and asked him to pray for me. To pray that I can hear God’s voice and that my life be radically cha-I didn’t get all of the words out. I started to bawl on a grown man’s chest. Crying my heart out and letting out my frustration. “I just want to hear him,” I said to Tyler. He just stood there and hugged me, and began to sing the song that Maury had playing. The song was one of the repeat songs, and it just said the same thing over and over again: “Abba…I belong to you”. He sang those words and just listened to the sound of me sobbing. He then proceeded to pray over me, asking for God to let his presence known to me. I began to get worried when all I heard was silence, and I cried even harder, but I do not think he noticed. After that though, Tyler said something to me that broke my heart open. He said that God had told him that God wanted me to know that he was my Father and that He loved me. As he was saying those words, I heard a voice in my head that I had never heard before saying those words, and I broke down crying. I knew it was God. The voice just kept saying how much He loved me and how He loved me so much he sent his son to die for me. I was sobbing at this point, Tyler’s shirt soaked from my tears. Once I had calmed down a little Tyler told me that he saw a light in my heart, and that it was growing, and that other people in my life see that life, and that I need to let my life shine. I completely broke down after that. I had heard God’s voice for the first time; He told me He loved me, and how much He loved me, and that His love for me was furious. In those minutes, I felt the closer to God than ever before.
This night was hands-down the most significant moment in my life. My life was radically changed when I caught a glimpse of my Creator, and I have had a better relationship with God because of it. It is easier to have a relationship with someone when you can actually hear him or her. Since then, I talk with God on a daily basis, compared to before when I literally had gone 15 years without hearing a single word. The significance of this event in my life is that now I have a relationship with my God, and can talk with Him while before I was just a fan. What I mean by this is that I never actually knew God, I just knew some Bible verses and new some stories in the Bible and went to church on Sunday and went to every Wednesday night youth group. All of those things didn’t mean anything because I didn’t know God. Now I do know God, and I am thankful for this every day.
