Lately I’ve forgotten what grace is.
Google defines it as unmerited favor, which really are just two fancy words for undeserved kindness.
Undeserved kindness. Hmmm.
Ever since coming home from the race I have tried to make myself a new routine to continue filling my days, so that in a way I could keep myself accountable & not become tempted into complacency & just sitting around. If you know me you know that I really value having a routine & having my things “just so.” Although there is nothing wrong with liking consistency, routines, and schedules, sometimes for me this results in me putting unnecessary pressure on myself. & yesterday was one of those days for me. I woke up, went on a run that turned into more of a prayer walk with God, showered & got ready for the day, distractedly read a chapter of Acts, Zoomed with some of my squad mates, and that was pretty much all that the day had in store for me. There really wasn’t anything wrong with it, other than I spent a bit of it distracted by things running through my mind. It happens & it’s not the end of the world, but instead of choosing into that mindset I was thinking “I didn’t practice my spanish, my time with God wasn’t how I wanted it to be, and I didn’t meet the goals that I had set for myself. I’m not doing enough.” After sharing this with my squad mate, Gel, this was her response:
“NIKKI THE LORD GIVES YOU WAVES OF GRACE TRY AND HAVE EVEN A LITTLE PUDDLE OF GRACE FOR YOURSELF.”
It was a direct slap in the face, but it was just what I needed to shift my gaze to Jesus for some Heavenly perspective. I think that It’s beyond my comprehension that every day I receive undeserved kindness from God. Like, WHAT? This morning in my journal, I asked Abba what grace means to Him & this was His response to my question:
“Each morning when you arise, I love you. When you don’t meet your daily goals, I love you. When you meet your daily goals, I love you. When you can’t get out of bed, I love you. When you snap at your family, I love you. When you give 100%, I love you. When you give 10%, I love you. When you don’t know what to do, I love you. When you spend 2 hours with me, I love you. When you spend 10 minutes with me, I love you. When you slip up, I love you.
Each morning, I can hardly wait to pour fresh grace all over you, because I love you.
I love you,
I love you,
I love you.
Your inheritance is love. Grace is your portion. So let me love you, let me give you grace. Drink from the cup that’s yours.”
God really blows my mind sometimes. Well, He blows my mind all of the time, sometimes it really just takes the wind right out of me.
I think that a lot of this season will be learning about what it means to sip from the cup of overflowing grace that Abba sets in front of me every morning. I think that it will be a lot of failure to do so, and then running to sit at His feet because that’s the only place that makes sense to be. I think that I will be broken and refined in a lot of areas, but at the end of it all I will be even closer to Him than I was before. He’s near to me, offering me love, even when I feel like I deserve the opposite. Thank you Lord.
Thanks for reading everyone! I am thankful for each and everyone of you:)
All my love,
Nikki
P.s…Here are some scriptures that I am holding fast to in this season, I hope that they bring you into His presence & remind you that grace is YOUR portion too.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, & calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy & find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:16
But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace.
Romans 11:6
