Isaiah 29:11-12 For you this whole vision is nothing but words sealed in a scroll. And if you give the scroll to someone who can read, and say to him, “Read this, please,” he will answer, “I can’t; it is sealed.” Or if you give the scroll to someone who cannot read, and say, “Read this, please,” he will answer, “I don’t know how to read.”
That’s what I feel like my vision is right now…words sealed in a scroll that nobody can read ~ including me. I have seen things that I think I understand or believed things that were spoken over me. I have absolute faith that the Lord will lead me toward His purpose. But, right now, I feel like I’m holding a scroll that I can’t read and I don’t know what to do with it.
My whole life, I’ve felt called to help others. To care for them and love them. I’ve seen it get twisted by the enemy and used in ‘bad’ ways that end up harming and hurting me…and made me afraid that I’m hearing the wrong direction. Almost daily, I battle this unloving, this way that I want to love everybody and don’t know how to feel loved myself, or that there won’t be enough left for me. (Okay…heading on a tangent…going back to my initial question!)
I want to serve, I want to help. But, that pesky bugger fear creeps in and now I’m in a place where I don’t know if I’m acting out of fear or doing what I think I should or if I’m hearing from the Lord. I think I know what feels right. But, feelings can be deceived. I’m not going to give a lot of detail, because it just doesn’t seem like I should. I’m feeling led to vagueness so God can show up bigger. (Yup…sounds crazy to me too!)
What I’m asking for is help. For prayers. For words you feel the Lord has asked you to pass on…no matter how crazy they may seem. I need some mad clarity right now. (At least I think I do! I know God is doing His thing, but, today, I just got such a big push to reach out to you and ask for help, there’s no way to ignore it!). Ask God to help me read the scroll. (You can post on here or email me at [email protected].)
~with joy~
