Well had I shut up long enough to actually hear God’s opinion on all this I would have realized I had it all wrong. Finally the day had come for us to learn our teams; I truly thought I was going to vomit…like I said I just knew. Teams were called and there I was in a field in Georgia in a circle with five incredible ladies bawling my eyes out because I did not want to spend a year with girls! Ok I must say God has a sense of humor, for sure! My main issue wasn’t just being on an all girls squad, but I had been really adamant about NOT wanting to be around strong and dominate female personalities, I swore I just couldn’t handle that…well guess what. EVERY single one of my fellow team mates all have very different and very strong (and wonderful) personalities. Finally during some down time I stopped trying to talk to God and let him talk to me. During that time I came to see his beautiful provision in putting me on an all girls team. The reasons include but are not limited to; first of all the fact that I have never had a healthy male relationship, and even though it’s something that has gotten better, because of my past I still (despite my best attempts not to) seek validation from men or feel the need to perform, which in the circumstance would not only take away from the work God has called me to do this year but also potentially damage beautiful friendships. Another reason is that He has called me to do this as a response to Isaiah 61:1-3. It’s funny because through-out this year more and more I’ve felt God leading me to minister to women..maybe not now, but everything he’s leading me to do, like an all girls bible study on healing (Beth Moore, Breaking Free=AMAZING) to an all girls team is Him preparing me for a greater calling. That someday I will be sharing my testimony and leading other women like I’ve been lead. That I will use my testimony to set captives free, to bind up the broken hearted and comfort the mourning women of the world. That as a team of women, not only will that be empowering to other women in the world who have been repressed for far to long, not only will we be LIBERATING and setting captives free, but as a team of women we will be able to go into places and speak truth into situations others can’t. We will be a team of six women, which God has called to go and be light in the darkest places in this world. I honestly at this moment can’t think of a greater calling. I’m not going to lie; I had been fighting this calling like no other. Like I said he’s been putting this on my heart more and more and if I were to be completely honest I would have to admit this is why I knew I’d be on an girl team, and that’s another reason I hated the idea of it…honestly I didn’t want this calling. I tried restlessly to talk Him out of this, but as I spent more time in prayer and in His word I felt him transforming my heart, I starting seeing his provision in all of this, and so I have deiced to let go and let him have the reigns, he usually knows better then I do anyways 🙂
SO without further adieu…druuuum roll pleeeaassee…..
Sarah & Kathleen & Alecia & Carly & Myself & Tamara
