Is this really my life??!?
As we finish up our first week of ministry of month 9, I am finding that I am asking myself that question a lot.
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To paint a picture for those at home for an attempt of a better understanding…
Picture yourself walking up at 4:30 in the morning for a destination unknown to you. The only thing your told, is to be ready to leave at 5 am, to get on a 3 hour boat ride. You proceed to hop on a tricycle (motorbike with extra seating on the side- same same but different than a tuk tuk) for a half hour ride through the dark. You slow down for speed bumps so you don’t bottom out and you even end up having to ‘off road’ due to construction happening on a bridge.
Is this really my life?
From there, the tricycle drops you off at the house of a local church family member you just met a few days before. Yet you have already enjoyed a meal of cooked fish, raw fish, squid and rice with them at their house. The family are fisherman by trade and it’s their boat that you will be spending the day on. The tricycle heads back to get the four guys on your team. While your waiting, you watch the sunrise over the South Pacific. As colours of red and orange shine through the clouds, you suddenly realize that a week a go, you watched that same sun rise over Angkor Wat- an ancient wonder of the world.
Yet here you are, watching it rise over the South Pacific Ocean.
Is this really my life?!?
With a quick realization that in order to GET to the boat anchored down half a mile out…
6 Americans, one Canadian (myself), a days worth of supplies and 12 Filipinos, must fit on a raft, made of bamboo and empty barrels.
With a few extra prayers for safety as you bobble up and down, you find yourself asking for the third time in 3 hours
“Is this really my life?”
After getting on board via bamboo planks and looking like a fool, you settle down on top of the boat for the ride.
An hour in, you quickly realize that your body was made for land and not sea.
Is this really my life?
2 hours later- the locals throw in an anchor and you see one of your teammates has already jumped off and is enjoying swimming in the ocean.
Trying to keep from falling, you stumble awkwardly near the water- the sight of colourful tropical fish and coral, catching your eyes below you.
Is this really my life?!
Your day consists jumping off the boat, eating rice and fresh fish, starfish hunting, conversations, eating more fish and rice, fishing and even jumping off a cliff that isn’t too far away.
You come back tired and red from the sun.
Is this really my life?!?
As the journey back to mainland begins, you suddenly stop and actually realize where you are. Your on top of a fishermans boat, in the ocean. Mountains and islands surround you. A guitar is playing, people are sleeping while others are siting on the bamboo just chilling.
THIS. THIS IS my life in the moment.
I started this week, homesick.
I wanted nothing more than to be at home. I wanted the comforts and I wanted a hug from my mom.
I was done with the world race. Tired of traveling, of moving and of not knowing where we were going and what laid ahead. Tired of feedback and not understanding the language. Tired of strange and exotic foods and all I was craving…was a pizza!!
I was ready for “real life”.
Yet moments like today-
reminded me of how truly blessed I am to be where I am.
Already the people that we’ve met in the week we’ve been in the Philippines,
have blessed and encouraged me.
In reality, I have just under 3 full months left until we land back on American soil.
Truth be told. I am not ready for that. I never will be. God has totally 100% ruined me through this trip, the experiences and the people I’ve journeyed with and have met along the way.
Altona- I’m coming home in a few months- and I’ll need grace. And lots of it. Realize that I’ve changed and I’ll never be the same as I was before I left. Rejoice with me, cry with me and share life with me.
Please also know that, not everyday on the race has been like I’ve described above.
In fact- most days are NOT filled with adventure or floating on a boat (surprise!!).
Most days are hard and life changing. As racers, we normally don’t talk about those days much (at least I don’t) but please know that they too- happen.
We are not perfect. We ARE still human. We do live in very close community and we do make mistakes. We change, we learn, we laugh, we cry, we mourn and we rejoice.
THIS. THIS IS REAL LIFE.
