November 21, 2010
It has been almost three years to that date. A date in my life that I thought would never come. It was a date when I decided to step out and take a huge leap of faith in my journey with Jesus.
It was snowing outside, with word that you could ‘skate down the highways’, just another typical Canadian winter Sunday evening. Instead of relaxing at home, I found myself back at my church, wondering to myself, “Can I really do this? Can I really take this step with Jesus? Once I go through with it, I cannot go back. Once I go under that water, it’s a public declaration. More ‘eyes’ will be on me and I cannot ‘let people down’. Am I really strong enough to do this? Can I really stand before my church family and share God’s story in my life? Am I ready to be baptized?”
Twice a year, my church offers ‘Christian Growth classes’, an 8-12 week class that allows Christians to dive deeper into their faith. It is a time to ask questions, fellowship and learn as a smaller body of Believers. Some choose to get baptize and become a members, while others are simply in it for the knowledge.
I had taken this class before, 4 years early, with the intent of getting baptized after it. As life would have it, I chose not to at that point. I was young, fresh out of high school and didn’t want to ‘because it was ‘expected’ of me’ or the ‘thing to do’ after high school before heading into university. I had watched my high school friends get baptized earlier in the year, yet their daily lives didn’t change. It made no difference in what they said or how they acted and I didn’t want that. I recall thinking that I wanted my baptism day, to be a day that I would remember forever.
Well it hasn’t been forever, but it has been 7 years since I took the class for the first time, 3 years since I chose to say “yes” and get baptized…and I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember the feeling of butterflies in my stomach, as I went up to share God’s story in my life. I am pretty sure I have never sweated as much in my life, as I did in that moment. I remember the feeling of relief as I walked off the stage 3 minutes later just happy to be done. Or that moment of anticipation while I waited in the back, for my turn to ‘take the plunge’. My toes can still feel the coolness of the water in the baptism tank, hitting them as I took that first step in. That nod of confidence from my pastor as I plugged my nose. That surpassing joy that I felt as I came up out of the water…now dead to sin and alive with a NEW LIFE in Christ.
As I sit here in Nepal, 3 years later I cannot do anything but chuckle to myself at the crazy journey Jesus has taken me on these last 3 years, let alone the last 4.5 months on the World Race. I moved out of my parents’ house to take on the responsibility of living on my own (the 3 years of living in dorm, doesn’t count). I have been able to travel to Africa not once, but twice on a month mission’s trip with my church. I fell in love with the youth ministry in my church (seriously, the HARDEST thing to leave at home, with coming on the World Race-shout out to my ‘girls’ at home!!! Missing you but I’ll cya June 1!! Coffee dates on me!) I have had more ‘heart to heart’ conversations with youth and friends, then I ever thought I would. I made myself to get up every day and serve Jesus through my job, even on those days that I just didn’t want to be there. I was able to be at my little brother’s high school grad and have many adventures with family. Relationships with friends were able to grow deeper as we wrestled through this thing we call ‘life’, together. I heard about this thing called the “World Race” and ended up applying for it. I got accepted and thus introduced me to a whole new group of crazy, awesome World changers. I went on an impromptu trip to St. Louis and had one of the best weeks of my life.
Ultimately, there have been valleys that I thought I’d never get out of, and times on the mountain tops when I felt like I could literally fly.
In the past 4.5 months, I have seen (and done) things that I never thought I would do. Jesus has literally taken me half way around the world and He has shown me it using HIS eyes. I have been able to feel the hurt and pain that is around, with HIS heart. My heart has been broken for the world in a way it never has been before.
I am forever wrecked.
I can’t go back.
I WON’T go back.
When I said “Yes Jesus”, three years ago, I knew my life would change. I knew my world would be rocked. I knew deep down, that there would be no ‘turning back’ to the life I once knew. It wasn’t that the life I had lived up till that point, was bad. I just realized in that moment, that God created me for something more. That there IS more to life then any of us could ever imagine.
We just have to be willing to ‘take the plunge’ and say ‘Yes’ to Jesus.
He has done the rest.
