power, love, and self-discipline~
2 Timothy 1:7
I was challenged the other day by a friend. Her name; is Leah.
Leah is 25 years old and is originally from Kingston Ontario, Canada. Now, she is married to a wonderful, Godly man named Alexander and, together, they have a 6 month old beautiful daughter named Anya. As a family, they currently live just on the outskirts of Belize city, Belize where they are both really involved with Children's Camps International Belize Ministry (such an amazing ministry..check out the work that they are doing in Belize, and INDIA here)
I had the privilege and honour of spending the full day with her this past week (something that only happens when they are out here once a year, visiting friends/family and ministry related things) and like normal, I was blessed and encouraged by her.
Just for some history on our friendship…I met Leah during my first year of Bible college at Steinbach Bible College I was a shy (yes R Squad, I was QUITE shy at one point..still am to a point), first year and she was a loud (in a good way) third year. I was unsure of who I was and insecure, she was very sure of who she was and very confident in herself. God works in strange, awesome ways and He knew I needed a female mentor like Leah, in my life and so, although I forget how, we connected. It was the little things really that she did that helped me open up. A hug, walks, a smile, or a sincere "how are you?". It was the bigger things like inviting me over to her place on campus for a 'home made' meal (hey, living in dorm…homemade meals are priceless!), a coffee 'date' to Tim Hortons for an ice Cap and a sprinkled doughnut that made me feel like "hey, I am worth spending time with…" Things like just talking to me, listening to my struggles and even being silent when that spoke louder than words ever could have. Offering advice as to my "what now?" questions that I drilled her with that had everything to do with from guys, to school, to life in general, to GOD and what following HIM really meant…I quickly learned that she was someone I could turn to, talk to and trust with whatever was going on in my life.
Fast forward 5 years to where we are now (where has time gone?) and God still is using Leah in my life to guide, mentor and challenge me. Yes, we have BOTH grown a lot-in similar way and in ways that are VERY different. Yes, we are on very different stages of life right now. Yes we even live in completely different countries…
BUT… We still both love, follow and serve the
As I was talking to her about my World Race coming up, and sharing about R Squad (dont worry guys, just all good things about you! 
), she paused at the end and looked at me and asked,
"So what is stopping you from going into missions FULL time?"
…FEAR
(For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline)
I could give the excuse… "I hate asking people for money to support me" (which I do…) or "I do not think I could fully, 100% give up my comfortable, Canadian lifestyle" or, "I will/would miss my family too much" or any other excuse my mind could/would come up with….and while a lot of these reasons are GOOD reasons…they are not the REAL reason that is holding me back…so
…..lets' be honest here…..
It is pure fear, and fear alone
(For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline)
I've been told that launch for July 2013 is a close 150 (ish) days away….I hear this/see this and I would love NOTHING better than to lock myself in a room and just 'pretend that it is not there'. I start freaking out because I have SO MUCH to do yet before then and really, 150 days is NOT a whole lot. I have money to fundraise, things to get, pack, hang out with friends, tell family, training camp, spend time with my youth, work, enjoy one more birthday, finish 'soaking in' Christmas memories and well, just plain RELAX and ENJOY life right here, right now………………..
once again..that still small voice I can faintly hear inside my head and in my heart…
"For I (God) has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline"
*Breathe* Ok God, I said I trust when I started to follow you… I have said I trust YOU lots since then…You have never failed me before and You are not going to start. I know You LOVE me to much to ever let me go…I am holding You to that right here, right now, every day leading up to the race, EVERy day ON the race and every day after the race for the rest of my life.
~For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of
power, love, and self-discipline~
"Father God, thank you for Leah, for the incredible mentor she has been and continues to be, for me in my life. I pray that as her family heads back to Belize, that You will continue to bless and enrich their lives personally and through the ministry. When she is done, or having a rough day, wrap her tighter in Your arms…hold her closer with Your mighty arms.
Father, as the race comes closer day by day..calm my heart. Give me Your peace, Your power, Your love and self discipline to see YOU in ALL that goes on. I pray that ultimately, I will know you more and more every day. I pray for YOUR strength when I feel weak. Your JOY when I am sad. Your LOVE when I feel as though I have no more love to give. I praise you because I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL, I KNOW THAT FULL WELL .
I love you Jesus.
Amen"
