Do you ever have it, when you KNOW you need to write a blog-but when you actually sit down to do it, you cannot find the words to say or express what you want to say? Does that happen to other people? Or am I the only one? For whatever reason, this is one blog that I have no idea how to write. A lot has gone on since I have written the last one, yet at the same time-nothing has changed (is that even possible?)
I am still working the same 9-5 job, living in the same place, and still involved in youth ministry (which I am continuing to love) so that has not changed. Yet at the same time, God has been working in my heart in a crazy way since my last post. Yes, it might have to do with the fact that a week from now, I will be IN Atlanta with training camp starting in 2 DAYS, when I will actually get to meet the entire R squad, spend time with them, worship Jesus with them, eat crazy foods, sleep in my tent and do 'who knows what else'-that I am feeling this way. Truth be told, I have my moments where I am beyond stoked for training camp to just 'hurry up and come'. However, there are also those moments when honestly, panic sets in and my mind starts wondering to AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL the things I have yet to do (last minute things to grab and check, attempt to pack my bag, hand in my two weeks notice at work, and the list goes on and on and on….) all while trying to 'stay sane' and to be balance time between friends, work, family, WR prep and, spending time with GOD.
This morning I told myself that after work, I would sit down and practice packing my pack as I will for TC and the race. Well….it was all good in theory…but in practicality..not so good. As I laid my gear out, sincere panic set in. This was the first time throughout this entire process of applying, getting to know R Squad and prepping for the race, that this has happened to me. Its ironic actually, as it was a year a go tomorrow (May 10) that I had my skype interview with AIM. It will be a year during Canadian Long weekend…the start of July 2013 training camp…that I got ACCEPTED onto January 2013 Route. (Yes I was originally suppose to go this past January). Its been a year since my journey with being apart of the World Race, has started.
When I decided to push back until July 2013, I have had nothing but peace in my heart about this choice. Until just this evening. I KNOW, I KNOW that God is calling me to this race, to this squad, to this opportunity to simply love people no matter who they are, where they are or their background or past. I honestly AM very excited to meet my World Race family and to continue this journey with them. Already, I have learned so much and have been challenged incredibly by them. There have even been a few times when they have spoken Truth into my life at that exact moment when I needed it…even being thousands of miles away. Now that is one AMAZING GOD that we serve! You know who you are…thank you for hearing and being obedient to God speaking through you!
I LOVE how God uses these moments (and others) to remind me that HE IS STILL GOD. Psalm 46 has been a Psalm that has spoken a lot of Truth in to my life when I have needed it the most…tonight was no exception. Verse 10 esepcially, is something that I know God is teaching and showing me a lot lately. It is not always easy to just "be still" (especially in these last few weeks at home) and it is something that I know I simply struggle with (as my 'to do' list keeps growing instead of shrinking) but I also know that I need to bow before my King and simply to be still and know that HE IS GOD and will be exalted among the nations (whether I fit everything into my pack or not!) and because of that, I have peace. I have joy. I have hope. I have love and a willinglyness to simply say "LORD, here I am. Send me"
Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.c]
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
