Let's be honest- lately my personal time with God, has been lacking and dry. I could use the excuse "I am busy" or "I try but I get distracted" or "I am just too tired", or "where do I begin reading in scripture?"
but in the end…as legit as they maybe…they are still just excuses.
I KNOW God is calling me into a deeper relationship with HIM. I KNOW He is working in and through me. I KNOW HE loves me. I KNOW He never left me. I KNOW He is right beside me. I KNOW He is preparing me for things to come tomorrow, the day after and/or next week. I also know that He is preparing me right now, for the race that lies ahead starting IN July. There has been this deep 'thirst' in my heart that I do not actually know how to fill it. I could give you the typical "sunday school" answers (which ARE good answers) but they never really 'satisfied me' before. I want the Truth. I want something Real.
So WHY IS IT SO HARD TO SIT DOWN. To PRAY. TO READ SCRIPTURE. TO HEAR GOD SPEAK?
Over the last week or so, I have been wrestling with as to 'what to "give up?'" for the 40 days prior to Easter. In the past, I have given things up….Chocolate was one year, specialty coffee drinks (as I much perfer a specialty coffee drink to just plain ol' coffee) was another and Facebook was yet another year (believe me or not, I actually did it..mind you I was in college so I had little time as was for Facebook…)
BUT
This year, I wanted will do something more. Part of my understanding of Lent, is to use this time to draw closer to God. When the 'temptation' is there for the thing you 'gave up', my understand is that one is suppose to train/focus their thoughts on God, read scripture, meditate or pray (or any other way in which you personally connect with God). I was thinking about this (and praying) and God kept putting the word "ME" on my heart and mind. ME?!? 'God, how do I give up ME for lent?" I was quite confused at first.
Then I remember that in the past, although I was NOT successful, I have also done it were I would "ADD" something to my life…something like making a deliberate effort to set time aside for God and God ALONE.
LIGHT BULB
One of the practical ways that this will look like-is getting up an extra hour earlier. Now, this doesn't seem like much-but I am a 'night owl' (though some R squad teammates may beg to differ 😉 ) and so getting up earlier, means also disciplining myself to go to bed sooner. It also means, that when my alarm goes off bright and early-it means NOT hitting the snooze for 15 minutes and actually getting up.
I have not quite yet figured out how the exact hour will look-although I am pretty sure the Holy Spirit will have that under control… 
but what I do know is that I want to
- Spend at least half that time each day-in the WORD-starting with the Psalms and Isaiah in the OT and perhaps James in the NT
- Spend time in prayer-specifically I am asking God to search my heart. To search my soul during this time. To prepare me right here, right now as I continue to live my life where it is, with the people I come into daily contact with
- I will be praying for my family-for healed relationships and open minds and hearts
- I will be praying for the youth ministry I am involved in-for the lives I see there each and every week—a ministry close to my heart
- I will be praying that God prepares me mentally, emotionally and especially spiritually for the Kingdom journey that lies ahead starting in July
- I will taking time to specifically pray over R squad and my teammates (SO listen up ou(R) squad..if you got some prayer requests- you know how to get a hold of me so I can be praying for you!)
- I will be praying for the countries, for the people that we God will bring across our paths as we "race' around the world
- and more
I am super excited to see how God will move leading up to (and after) Easter. I will admit-waking up some days will hard-especially those 5:45 mornings…but in the end-I know it will be/is totally worth it. Still, I ask you to pray…to hold me/keep me accountable as well.
Thanks for being a blessing
