This is a re post from my trip to Zambia Africa in 2012. Lately on the race, my mind (and heart) has been there…with those kids. I’m feeling a calling…a calling I can NO longer run from.
Speak Jesus Speak
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As I sit outside here in Zambia, listening to the team inside enjoying each other’s company and laughter, words do not describe the day that I just experienced. I am trying to figure out how to word this so that you, the reader, will get even a small glimpse of a day that just completely lifted my heart up this morning, only to completely shatter it a mere 10 hours later. Broken, furious, angry, hateful, hurting and simply sad are just a few of the key emotions flowing through my body right now. I wish I could say that I am angry with God because that would be so easy, but I know that in my heart, that would be a lie. Although I have a LOT of questions for God right now, He is not the only one who I am angry at. My anger is at the sin in this world and the devil alone….
This morning, when we arrived at the kids home, we were expecting to see and admit, the twins. However, we found the their aunt there with one of the twins (an HIV positive girl) and her older sister. Through discussion we found out that their rough ages were 3 and 6 years old and so the younger one joined Buseko home and we took the other one with us to Grace. A teammate and I (Nikki) had the privilege and honour of joining our leader in this process of welcoming the girls and taking the older one shopping for her very own clothes. Not only that, but the girls names had to be changed and Susan gave us the honor of the girls being named after my teammate (for the 3 year old) and myself (for the 6 year old). We even ended up sharing the same birthday, as these girls did not know which day they were born, and so had never had a birthday party or celebrations, something so simple that we take so for granted. The plan for today was to include this new girl (now named Nikki) on our excursion to Nsobe-a local Game Park where the team enjoyed a mini safari consisting of bonding time, and picture taking of giraffes, Zebras and lots of deer. We took our churches sponsor kids with us, along with our other kids that we individually sponsor. So with my sponsor child in one hand, and now my namesake, Nikki, in my other hand-the day was a day of pure joy, pictures, laughter, fun and spending time enjoying God’s creation here in Zambia.
Little did we (I) know that a few hours later little Nikki’s world, along with my own, would be completely shattered and turned upside down. Long story short, an uncle of Nikki’s, wanted her back and in Zambian culture-the man can do whatever he wants. However, he did not have the guts to come to home and get her himself, instead he sent his wife to pick her up. Some of the reasons the uncle was forcing her to return was for pride and money. The demeanor in little Nikki was evident. I picked her up and I did NOT want to let her go. In a matter of mere seconds, my heart was shattered. Watching her get into the car, looking at me like I had betrayed her, and then drive off with her aunt (who clearly said she did not want Nikki), will be forever burned in my mind. It is an image that I will never forget no matter how hard I try.
I’d like to say that coming here for the second time has been easy, but that is a lie. My respect and admiration for our team leader-the wonderful lady who started this organization, has sky rocketed. Join me in praying with, and for, her as she makes daily decisions that are literally changing lives for good. Changing lives for Christ here in Zambia. Pray for Seeds of Hope as the impact they are having right here, right now in Zambia, is a change that this country desperately needs.
One thing has been clear to me lately, and that is that God is NOT done here in this city, in this country. Yes, today was heartbreaking and it is something that will forever change my life, but Our God is Greater. Our God is Stronger. Our God is HIGHER than any other. Our God is healer. Awesome in Power. Our God. Our God.
I am going to hold onto those Truths found in scripture. God has already won.
~Nikki~
